TSA agent (staring intently): I’m trying to figure out who you look like before checking your ID.
Me: ok
TSA: that cyclist Armstrong!
Nearby agent: that ain’t Lance Armstrong
Me: he’s right
TSA: oh you look like that skateboarder (checks ID). Same last name too! Crazy!
Me: crazy
Ronald Acuña Jr. exited the game in the 2nd inning after being hit by a pitch in his first at-bat, which sparked a benches-clearing scuffle. (via @MLB)