stevick23

jordan stevick, 16 years old, 7249911695, musician

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

"Did your mom drop you as a baby?" "Yeah, into a pool of sexy."

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

GIRL: "Dad, I am lesbian." SISTER: "Me too dad." DAD: "Doesn't anyone like guys here!?" SON: "I do." DAD: -_-

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

"You took my daughters virginity!" "I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again."

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

3 things I've learned in school: Texting without looking, Sleeping without getting caught, and teamwork on tests.

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

I'd have to disagree with Kay Jewelers. I'm pretty sure more kisses begin with alcohol.

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

"Hi :)" "Hi" .. No smiley? Yeah, fuck you too.

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

You have ONE advantage over me. You can kiss my ass and I can’t.

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

The last day of the Olympics should be all the gold medalist playing dodgeball until we have an ultimate champion.

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

Vodka is made from potatoes, potatoes are vegetables, and vegetables are good for you. You're welcome

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

Teacher : Now I want you to fold your paper lengthwise. Me : Bitch, Hamburger or Hotdog?!

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

I can make sweet glorious love & vengefully hate fuck the shit outta you at the same time. Basically, I multitask.

[fuck entei. @FuckEntei]

I'm a neck kisser & a lip biter.

[fuck entei. @FuckEntei]

Bro, A female that puts up with your bullshit everyday is a keeper.

[Ted. @HiIariousTed]

Today, I don't feel like doing anything. Except you, I'd do you.

[stevick23 @stevick23]

i Absolutely Love my girlfriend She's amazing :)