Rae

i have no chill but you can barely tell

[Rae @stinginrae]

You’ll never be hot enough to make up for your personality. - @satansfavhobo

[Rae @stinginrae]

@satansfavhobo I don’t like how targeted this is.

[Rae @stinginrae]

*halfway through a movie*

“Wait, is her name Angelica?” - me
“No, it’s Rachel.” - Emily
“The whole time?!”
“Yes”
“That can’t be right.”

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

"I don't hate people who don't do drugs. What I really hate is people who don't TRY drugs." - @stinginrae

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

Construction workers are so cute! With their bright colors and matching hats and their little vests. Adorable.

[Rae @stinginrae]

HE WAS A VERY PRESENT FATHER

[Rae @stinginrae]

First of all, the characters, I need them to be hotter than they are

@satansfavhobo

[Rae @stinginrae]

@OfficiallyBxmbi @satansfavhobo Um excuse me what is happening here

[Rae @stinginrae]

“It’s not that girls don’t like you, it’s that’s you’re just not relatable.” -Cait’s philosophy on my problems

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

(after @stinginrae goes full asshole)
Me: I should have clarified. You only have to be a dick to people you want to sleep with.
@stinginrae: So everyone but you?

[Rae @stinginrae]

@satansfavhobo I wanted to make a joke about how half of those are definitely mine but then realized if you don’t pick up after the first ring, I send you 400 texts demanding answers as to why you’re ignoring me because I know you will never listen to a voicemail.

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

"I could never sleep with you. And I sleep with EVERYONE." - @stinginrae

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

Pretty shaken to discover that my best friend @stinginrae, who has been giving me life advice for the last decade, has the unquestioning mind of an ideal cult recruitment target. Worse, she is able to see the world only as amorphous blobs of shape and color.

Good advice tho. So

[liyah @hm_liyah]

i kinda like people who trauma dump idk. idc if i just met u 30 mins ago tell me why ur mom lost custody of u i’m curious

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

Quick update my best friend is a boss ass bitch with a bitch boss ass

[Sean Manning @SeanManning_]

personally, if joe biden cancels even $10k of my student loans i will hang a little picture of him in my living room like an Italian grandma does with the pope

[Rae @stinginrae]

I talk a big game but I am actually quite average. -random guy I know

[Rae @stinginrae]

I would be remiss if I didn’t take the opportunity to micro-traumatize you. -@satansfavhobo

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

No pressure to text me back. Take your time. I'll just be here under the couch, crysturbating my way through a Dunkin' variety box.

[Rae @stinginrae]

*Finishes telling him a really cool, happy story*

“First off I just want to say, it cannot be overstated how obnoxious and unbearable that was to listen to.” -@satansfavhobo

[Reverend Jas @satansfavhobo]

"Soooooo people don't like it when you yell at me:

'WHORE!'"

- @stinginrae