mommy

[hys @Hys3x]

me trying to beat elden ring on my xbox kinect

[ConcernedApe @ConcernedApe]

The world of haunted chocolatier is larger than stardew valley

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

this is bye sister for white supremacists

[tweet davidson @andyreed]

when people turn 30 they’re sorted into one of these four houses like in harry potter

[Perc 𒉭 @PercThaGoat]

I would’ve cut a hole in the bottom of the table like a Scooby Doo villain.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

So it turns out insurance covered my surgery, but silly me, thinking that it would also cover the anesthesia required to knock me out for said surgery!

[Dog Biter @necrobranson]

My culture does not use food to bring people together and we do not like to laugh. Family means nothing to us.

[strallweat @strallweat]

If someone offered me an olive pizza for helping them move, I would take all their furniture and return it to their old place

[Long Haired Spreadneck #godawgs @fratstafford7]

How I feel eating Chicken Salad Chick for lunch

[serena shahidi @glamdemon2004]

Had two Cheesecake Factory lemon drops and now I want a Marlboro Gold

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Pov: you turn to see me during the sad part of the movie

[neonique 👽 @_neonique]

so here’s a thread about these cuntimal birds

[ash @tripnf4ll]

white people be like i have to pick up my dog’s Invisilign

[jeno @jn_445]

took 3 months and destroyed my mental health just to avoid doing something that ended up taking me 2 minutes