e💙💛

olen kloun ♥︎

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

hmm, my lab grown sentient fungus version of you made that exact same observation yesterday. it’s getting faster than you…

[jocelyn ᵇᵉ❦ | BE4 🌸 @8bittersuite]

they’re trying their best to cover it up but the biggest feminist page posted about it 😭

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

i once heard someone say “if there are 12 Nazis in a room and they ask you to have dinner with them and you agree, then there are 13 Nazis in that room” and i think a lot of people fundamentally don’t understand that. but it’s 100% true.

[bONGO 🌐 @wariocolosseum]

for some reason everyone just unironically acts like this now and its so goddamn insufferable

[Slaylor @GirlSnailure]

got so tilted by someone blocking my path today i had to make this to blow off steam

[dandelion ✿ @faerieriver]

someone show this to the “we dont need feminism anymore” crowd

[Ben See @ClimateBen]

The rapid minor mass extinction of capitalism is more horrific than we are willing to admit.

[maple @MaplePeache]

people now realizing gendered animation exists because of this

[Guz Khan 🥶 @GuzKhanOfficial]

This is CRAZY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[jaxonloid @jaxonloid]

I am genuinely scared of ballpoint pen artists. Every single one of them I see online has insane powers. Ballpoint pen artists know something we don’t.

[💗 @ma1ybe]

menstrual products cause bodily harm. toothpaste causes dental issues for women because it was designed for men specifically. Male baldness is studied more than endometriosis....They created a male birth control but pulled it when it was linked to cancer, & acne, hairloss, mood swings...yet women have been living with those same risks for decades. This is more than medicine; it's proof of a system that protects men's comfort while ignoring women's pain.

[🜏 Edmund McMillen 🜏 @edmundmcmillen]

My youngest daughter ( minnow, 5) just sent me this drawing, it’s “Jesus with bugs”.

[shy fawkes @butterbooter]

happy new year. remember that the ethic you develop about you is in the subtle, the small, the micro decisions you make about the ways you think, feel, act. there is no gesture so small that doing it consistently wont change you. you are always free to change. love you. be good

[Chrisy | Homemade Hooplah @homemadehooplah]

There is absolutely no reason for this technology to be widely available other than making fraud and abuse effortless.

It's just a tool for awful people.