I miss her and then i remember the wave of intense fear that’d come over me whenever she’d stand or sit next to me after what happened. How I’d squeeze my eyes shut waiting for her to hit me when she’d get in my face and scream, how I’d back away as she kept getting closer.
She was genuinely scaring me and I still wanted to be near her, I still wanted her comfort even after she was the one who put hands on me, i begged and pleaded and cried for her not to let me go home, I told her how I wouldn’t tell it she would just let me stay.
I miss giving them head rubs, I miss when they’d hold me in their lab, I miss when they’d always give me a quiet space to go when we had company and I got too overstimulated. I miss when they’d sit and paint or draw with me. I miss when they loved me.
I talk all this shit shout how I couldn’t care less about them but when I’m staring at my bags I still haven’t unpacked, all I can think about is how I miss when they were good to me. when they weren’t hurting me. I miss the movies nights in the living room, I miss cooking dinner
I miss when he’d walk me places bc I still didn’t know my way around, I miss how he’d always hold my hand and walk on the outside of the side walk, I miss when he was protective instead of scary and angry
I’m a black queer women that been struggling to find work due to the current job market I’ve been trying to get some help transportation /groceries I’ve ask around and no one can help me ! Anything helps pls
Cashapp:$kry5tal429
#MutualAidThread