A spider that was about the size of a quarter dropped right into my lap as I was driving on the freeway this morning to work... I almost totaled my car and called out of work about it. #mondayvibes
Current life status: *walks into gas station at 10:45am like a dirtbag to buy two Monaco’s to kill hangover but still functions in society and pays bills*
It blows my mind when my clients ask me what I do for my work outs in the gym because apparently I look like I’m in shape to them... I haven’t been in the gym in over a month...I drink on a daily basis as well... what?😂
Note to self: just cause you’re locked out of your house doesn’t mean you should be jumping a fence with a torn meniscus and a hip with zero cartilage just to get through the back sliding door that OF ALL DOORS THAT SHOULD BE LOCKED isn’t locked lol what the fuck