St. Peter

Heaven's bouncer. If your name isn't on the list, you're not getting in.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

Christianity is just Greek mythology with less anal.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@jjauthor Cry harder, Stepford Wife.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@GuntherEagleman How's that dick taste, buddy?

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@GuntherEagleman

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

She's going to eat that, isn't she?

[Nancy Mace @NancyMace]

Defend 2A.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

Holy fucking shit she did an ad read mid cry.

[Richard Hanania @RichardHanania]

Erika Kirk: “It’s the little things. I miss Charlie when I see his hot sauce on the shelf, which is now available at grocery stores everywhere.”

It’s an instinct.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@SaltyGoat17 This backfired big time, huh?

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@AuburnMartin @GuntherEagleman Those won't soak up those tears very well, maybe try Kleenex.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@2ndMississippi @GuntherEagleman You call a man who isn't your father "daddy". Nobody is scared of you.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@GuntherEagleman Nobody is scared of you, little bitch.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@catturd2 How does that dick taste?

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@GuntherEagleman

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@Punchy_Playz And you'll take it because you know red states are trash.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@RyanAFournier How's that dick taste?

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

Just a reminder, if Texas turns blue, Florida will be the ONLY self sufficient red state. No other red state gives more to the government than it takes.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@GuntherEagleman Your humiliation is fucking delicious.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@staceyh32720 Oh god, your tears are so sweet.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@catturd2 Made in China, so good for them I guess.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@AlphaJeffrey45 Man, this is one of the most brutal ratios I've seen. Did you think you'd ever be this humiliated when you woke up this morning?

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@king_Juratovac You could lube your Fleshlight with those tears. It'll be the closest you get to the real thing.

[St. Peter @StPeterGateKeep]

@travelingflying All that hair dye and plastic surgery really messed up your brain, huh?