vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia

22 | ger/eng | lw ~45kg | lbmi ~17s | cw ? | gw 45kg | ugw 38kg | coffee addict ☕️ | vegan 🌱🧛🏻‍♀️ | skz :3 | pretzel connoisseur

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

⋆⋆☆vamp intro☆⋆⋆

➸ age and stats in bio
➸ an-r & purging disorder for many years
➸ trying to interact but i‘m scared
➸ struggling with severe social and general anxiety
➸ kpop, mainly skz
➸ meal posting, info stats only in alt text
➸ ootds if i feel good

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

my friends and family saw me at 45kg and now that I unwillingly gained some weight, they kinda forgot about it and feel the need to constantly talk about weight, dieting and calories. my mom especially has to mention calories and it‘s so triggering

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

I‘m looking at old pictures and I need to lock in so bad 🥹

I was somewhere around bmi 18 in these but I don’t think I looked bmi, still need this back though. I hate myself so much

[ً @viveecal]

when im out with friends and then the unavoidable overwhelming realization that im fat and ugly hits me

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

one of my friends who is also anorexic but doesn’t know I am despite seeing me irl at my absolute lowest keeps texting me how she is balls deep in her ed again and it’s so triggering. I can’t do this anymore

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

@RayrieXO7 🥲🥲🫂

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

I just found a weightloss plan in an old diary from 2017. I remember doing kpop dances to burn calories. I also found a piece of paper that had a workout routine on it that I did three times a day. this is so sad, I was 14… 🥲

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

I have been feeling myself locking in recently

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

I fear I have fucked up my stomach lol. After years of purging, my body has started to reject food and I involuntarily throw up whenever I eat something, mostly with food bigger than the size of my fist. Please never start purging. I can’t even eat an apple without throwing up

[lulu ♡ @miausanity]

if i was skinny everything would be okay

[rose @shubsarexie]

another year wasted being fat

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

spending christmas depressed at my father‘s and vomiting in my childhood bathroom 👍🏻

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

professional meal repeater

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

coming home drunk and clocking a whole ass meal is the beast thing ever

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

I’ve gotten so fat 😭
It‘s mainly muscles but I fucking hate it so much

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

@sourcandy_23 real😔

[vamp🧛🏻‍♀️🌱 somewhat ia @str4wberryfangs]

day drinking ♥️