Jess.P

I'm just trying to survive

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

Bitches be drunk at parties after 2 glasses of alcohol and all over the place
That's me. I'm bitches

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

Had a chat with a Swiggy delivery guy who mentioned that Swiggy takes a cut from the online tips that we give them. Was I the only one that didn’t know that??? Switching to cash from now on.

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

I love how adulting just means I can watch Harry Potter at 3 am

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

If a squiggly line had a personality it’d be Hrithik Roshan 〰️

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

@IndiGo6E is the absolute worst to travel with. I’ve tried to give it a pretty fair chance but it gets worse every time.

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

Told my partner I was gassy and he said “which spice girl is that?”

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

Been having a shitty day for 7 months

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

PSA to all my friends, I will be accepting therapy appointments as birthday gifts.

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

men make me physically ill

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

Handjobs are just informal handshakes

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

There’s only one reason to go to the office early and that’s to have a solo concert in the toilet

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

ok but why am I crying to the acoustic version of the one that got away by Katy Perry in 2023

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

told a friend I was having a bad day and he responded with “feeling fat? I noticed” 😂😭

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

only been in my PJ’s since Christmas

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

Spain without the S
#FIFAWorldCup

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

lingerie shops need to start catering to small chested women 😭

[Snoop Dogg @SnoopDogg]

SnoopDobbyDobb

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

sittin at home on a Saturday night lookin like Adam Sandler and i wouldn't have it any other way

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

"what did you eat for lunch besides chewing my brains"

[Jess.P @stressicabcd]

The list of things I've been called today as a short person😂😭
Beetle
Cockroach
Nugget
Hobbit