Rudi

#CSC | Gunner | HipHopHead | Anti - Oligarch | RT for myself | 'my words will either attract strong minds or offend weak ones'

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Fan_Monty @AFC_Monty_]

It’s over.

We conceded a shot on target. These are not the fogging estandards.

[Rudi @Strika_]

@Atleti blame it on the hot water #COYG @Arsenal #uefachampionsleague

[Andrew Kaufman MD @AndrewKaufmanMD]

Vietnam just deactivated 86 million bank accounts overnight. No warning, no grace period. Individuals who failed to submit biometric data were immediately denied access. This is not speculation. This is applied state-level biometric enforcement.

Don’t assume this is “too extreme to happen here.” With the rollout of REAL ID and advanced surveillance technologies, including systems linked to Palantir contracts under the Trump administration, the same methodology is entirely feasible in the United States.

Follow @andrewkaufmanmd for more

[Jackson Hinkle 🇺🇸 @jacksonhinkle]

🇮🇱 EVERY ISRAELI connection to Charlie Kirk’s ASSASSINATION (so far):

> He was groomed by Israel as teenager
> He was Israel’s top non-Jewish loyalist
> He starts *mildly* criticizing Israel
> He said Epstein was Mossad
> He said no Iran war on behalf of Israel
> He lobbied Trump against Iran War
> Trump ‘barked’ back at him over Iran
> He said Israel had full control of Trump
> He referred to Netanyahu as a bully
> He feared ‘Israel would kill him’
> Harrison Smith posts about Kirk’s fear
> Netanyahu requests Charlie visit Israel
> Netanyahu offers TPUSA huge funding
> He refused Netanyahu’s funding offer
> He became “disgusted” with Netanyahu
> He let anti-Zionists speak at his events
> Zionist media starts attacking him
> Zionist donors threaten to defund TPUSA
> Zionist donors demand Kirk ban Tucker
> Donors cut him off & launch attacks
> Loomer says Kirk backstabbed Trump
> Zio FBI Director fires chief of Utah FBI
> He has ‘anti-Israel’ interview w/ Shapiro
> Shapiro attacks Kirk on Mark Levin
> He has ‘combative’ meeting w/ Israeli Rabbi
> Before 9/10, unusual people visited 'shooter'
> The visitors had out of state license plates
> The visitors 'did not give off a good vibe'
> Charlie shot in jugular from 200yd away
> Unidentified man runs in crowd with pistol
> Police arrest patsy claiming to be shooter
> Patsy yells “shoot me!” during arrest
> 9/11 propaganda video surfaces of patsy
> Actual shooter flees without a trace
> Netanyahu tweets within minutes
> Israeli media 1st to confirm Charlie’s death
> Private jet takes off 12 minutes away
> Private jet disables location monitoring
> Jet is owned by Chabad Lubavitch donor
> Netanyahu posts about Charlie’s Israel trip
> FBI says foreign intel assisting investigation
> FBI claims they have photos of shooter
> FBI claims shooter wore tactical gear
> Assembled gun found in ‘wooded area’
> No photos exist of shooter with the gun
> No photos exist of shooter in tactical gear
> Zionists go on social media blitz about Kirk
> Netanyahu goes on media blitz about Kirk
> Netanyahu says Islamist behind shooting
> Netanyahu says Israel didn’t kill Kirk
> Netanyahu reads Kirk’s ‘pro-Israel letter’
> Candace says the letter was faked
> Candace calls on Netanyahu to publish letter
> Tucker says Charlie was at war with Israel
> Cernovich says Kirk was at war with donors
> Grayzone drops article with Trump insider
> Insider confirms Kirk’s war with Israel
> Insider confirms Trump fearful of Israel
> Insider confirms Mossad spying on Trump
> Trump insiders don’t buy official FBI story
> Trump insiders say ‘outside forces’ killed Kirk

But I’m sure it was just some random liberal kid…

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

To: [email protected]
From: @DOGE

What did you get done this week?

[Rudi @Strika_]

Damn straight, The Gunners will be firing!!💥💥 #COYG

[Sky Sports News @SkySportsNews]

UEFA insists this week's Champions League quarter-final ties will go ahead as scheduled amid an alleged terror threat

Arsenal's Emirates Stadium will host the first leg of their last-eight
tie against Bayern Munich tonight, while Man City are also in action away to Real Madrid

[Bishal Nandi @LearnWithBishal]

Copy and paste these ChatGPT prompts to land your dream job (2024 Updated)*:👇🏿

[Rudi @Strika_]

@eNCA If they keep this up, I'll vote for ANC in 2024

[Israel Adesanya @stylebender]

🛡️⚔️🛡️
“We both have South Africans to deal with.”
#saylessdomore #threads #stichemup 🪡

[Joe Rogan @joerogan]

That would be a great suggestion if you could assure that the industry you were representing wasn’t completely captured by heartless monsters who have a history of some of the biggest criminal fines in human history because their deception has cost hundreds of thousands of people their lives. It would be a great suggestion if the industry you were defending didn’t occasionally look at human beings as an opportunity to generate insane wealth regardless of the tragic consequences. But you can’t do that, so… maybe it would be a good idea to have a fucking debate.

[Dr Jordan B Peterson @jordanbpeterson]

How could this possibly go wrong?

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Powerful: Google Leaves Homepage Empty In Honor Of Jesus's Empty Tomb
https://t.co/CJaEj1nWPM

[Rudi @Strika_]

#Ø is something else

[Av @aviv_lavi]

🚨 BREAKING: I understand that City will be hit with a THREE point deduction on February 15 at the Emirates.

[Rudi @Strika_]

@PresidencyZA @CyrilRamaphosa If the fifth checkbox isn't at the top of the list, the rest is null and void

[Rory Jackson @Rory_Jackson08]

Haven't spotted a City fan on Twitter since the news broke .

[Africa Facts Zone @AfricaFactsZone]

8 Arsenal fans have been arrested for celebrating their victory against Manchester United in Uganda.

The Police said the fans went on a victory parade without seeking permission.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Al Gore Again Warns The Earth Will Not Make It Past The Year 2012 https://t.co/Q4TtuNZuCq

[K @_AFCKieran]

Excl: Chelsea are now entering advanced stages to sign Leandro Trossard, Arsenal not willing to match Brighton valuation. 🚨🔵 #CFC

Chelsea close to agreement on £50m package, personal terms will not be a problem.