The Crap-tain

Douchebag. Weirdo. Masturbator. Nailed your mom. (Parody account.)

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

Hit me up if you wanna put any of these theories to a real-world test. Ladies and super-passable drag queens only.
https://t.co/Sw572qvvQR

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@elonmusk I know you think you're supposedly so smart that we can't see what you're doing. But creating suspicion and pre-questioning integrity ahead of an election you know that fascists like you are going to lose is a very transparent manipulation tactic. Pay your taxes and shut up.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@elonmusk Since when do you pay taxes?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@elonmusk YOU ARE AN IMMIGRANT. And besides, there is ZERO EVIDENCE of this claim. Non-citizens cannot and do not vote in American elections. Period.

Seriously, what the hell is WRONG with you?!?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@PinkHighx_ Dude is raising simping to high art. Here's hoping that when you cast him aside the moment he doesn't meet one of your expectations, he finds somebody who loves him just the way he is.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@liIpochaco Is this "beautiful girl" in the room with us...?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@LibertyCappy So is "well-regulated militia," but you ammosexual pieces of shit never seem to remember THAT part, do you?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@elonmusk When are YOU going to learn that that guy lies as easily as he BREATHES?!?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@ZOrtiz99 The same way I feel when I see a swastika, and for all the same reasons.

The Confederacy only lasted 4 years. Racist redneck assholes need to shut the fuck up with that "hEriTaGe nOt HaTe" line of bullshit. They're not fooling anyone. We all know the truth.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@ThisIsKyleR Haven't you taken enough shots you shouldn't have?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@gymgirllex Based on the women I've been with who have had BBLs, that's gonna be a hard pass. You all seem to forget how to wipe properly once you get all caked up. And I'm not trying to wind up with conjunctivitis. Again.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@ProfessorTracey @VoteBidenOut @SRuhle They never can.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@VoteBidenOut @SRuhle Trump HATES you.

You know that, right?

I mean he hates everybody, but he hates you more than most. And if you don't know why, feel free to refer to any reflective surface that happens to be in your vicinity.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@xcitizenjournal @BidensWins Psssst! Hey, stupid:

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@JKash000 @BidensWins Only idiot Republicans think to themselves, "Does everyone who ever worked closely with him and who calls him unfit and incompetent know him better than I do just from seeing him on TV? Nope. They must all be wrong. I'm so smart." 🙄

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@ThisIsKyleR Gotta get in that target practice in case you need to murder someone else, huh?

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@dbongino I mean, you're also white, so you have a massive advantage there.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@elonmusk And — make no mistake — gold-hoarding dragons like you who greedily tie up all the resources the rest of us could use for education, housing, health care, or other things that could benefit humanity are the biggest reason why. So let's get that right.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@ThisIsKyleR *Should not HAVE. And we're supposed to believe you wrote a book?

Christ, what an idiot. A moronic, murdering, mealy mouthed mama's boy idiot. What complete joke you and everything you stand for are.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@gymgirllex Saving this as a screenshot for the next time I hear some clueless, doe-eyed ingenue bitch out loud about how "mEn DoN't aPpRoAcH wOmEn aNyMorE!!1!"

Personal peace beats mixed signals and the expectation of clairvoyance eight days out of every seven.

[The Crap-tain @strsgk]

@DietCoke_Esq Lots of guys are single now. Dating is no longer worth it because women are entitled gold diggers with sky-high expectations and no accountability, and men gain absolutely nothing from marriage and relationships. Maybe he prefers his peace and you should leave him the fuck alone?