Structured Success

ADHD Coach & Academic Strategist | Guiding ADHD, autistic, and neurodivergent clients through lived experience | they/her | #AuDHD | #ActuallyAutistic

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Also on Bluesky, Threads, Mastodon, and sometimes Tumblr and Reddit too.

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

We need to stop seeing neurodevelopmental conditions (and mental health conditions) as character flaws.

The response shouldn't be to frame them as gifts or superpowers. They can and do have negative impacts, but they can and do have neutral or protective elements too at times

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Executive functioning isn't one skill, it's MANY that overlap and interact with one another.

Learning to cope with executive dysfunction isn't as simple as learning one skill or accommodating one developmental gap. It's repeated, constant learning and adaptation over a lifetime

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Like all emotions, the goal cannot be to stop feeling one emotion or exclusively feel another.

The goal must be to identify when anxiety or excitement is serving us and when it isn't. When it isn't we need tools to mitigate the negative impacts they can bring (4/4)

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Anxiety and excitement are two sides of the same coin. They're both energizing emotions fueled by adrenaline.

Where anxiety focuses us on our worries, fears, and our past giving energy to problem solve (or spiral), excitement focuses us on our hopes, dreams, and our future (1/4)

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Excitement can be incredibly motivating, filling us with joy and creativity.

However, it's motivating powers can encourage us to take risks we might not otherwise. Excitement can also hyperfocus us, causing us to lose sight of our routines or day-to-day responsibilities (3/4)

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Everyone tells themselves a story to explain their thoughts, behaviours, and emotions.

Recognizing that we're neurodivergent, or being diagnosed, changes this story; it can re-frame what we thought were moral failings as expected challenges or new strengths and weaknesses

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

@gc2217 Do you find that disconnection from your emotional experience to be learned or do feel like it's more natural to you?

Because it really can be either for ADHD'ers and neurodivergent folks. Definitely not universally good or bad, but limiting some times, as you suggest

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

ADHD'ers tend to experience big, fast emotions that are more intense and easier to trigger than non-ADHD'ers.

This also means our response to other people's emotions can be bigger and faster too. If we aren't careful, this can make for vicious cycle that escalates conflict

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Some of these factors are outside of our control. Other's we can change with more or less difficulty.

If we don't like an action that we've taken, assessing these influences on our behaviour can help us identify whether we can change it and how go about doing so.

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Behaviour does not occur in isolation.

Internally, behaviour is affected by our goals, values, thoughts, feelings, and even bodily sensations. Externally, behaviour is affected by the situation, environment, social structures, and even social power

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Social norms can be so hard for autistic folks.

We know social norms exist, and we try to make rules based on our understanding of them. But they often feel like moving targets, like a complex, changing puzzle we need to constantly figure out

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

The stories we tell ourselves to explain our thoughts, feelings, and actions are often more important than labels and diagnoses, I feel.

If our stories disempower us or frame our struggles as moral failings, this can have major implications for our mental health and self-esteem

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

As neurodivergent people, our first mission is to stop seeing ourselves as failed neurotypicals.

Neurotypical standards are so ubiquitous that most neurodivergent people have internalized them to some extent. Measuring our success against these standards dooms to failure

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Being stressed, in pain, or emotional can make anyone vulnerable.

For ADHD'ers, this is on top of our executive dysfunction, intense emotions, and rejection sensitivity.

Sure, checking ourselves and emotionally regulating early and often helps, but it sure is exhausting

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

The shower can be overwhelming for folks with sensory issues.

Remember! You're allowed to make it a better sensory experience.

You can add music, incense, or galaxy projector. You're allowed to turn off the lights, reduce water pressure, or use a shower chair

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

If you only do everything you "should" do, you will never have time for anything else… and you probably won't even finish everything you "should" do.

It's just not possible. So why feel guilty for not finishing all of the things you (and others) tell yourself you should do?

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

@heyval2 @ladyinteger This is the way that I do it as well. I mix and match blouses and blazers with black work pants and I've never heard a word.

But then again, I've always worked in non-profit spaces and corporate is just a completely different universe

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

Autistic folks: Very few people actually care if you wear the same thing every day.

Buy the 5 copies of the correct jeans.
Get the comfortable shirt in every color.
You got this.

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

It's not childish to adapt child-focused ADHD strategies to work for you as an adult.

Visual schedules, sticker charts, token economies, and other strategies get talked about as if they are only for kids, when they could help so many adults as well

[Structured Success @StructuredSucc]

@scantrahan This is honestly what me and my partner do. We have LOADS of the same socks and we never have to worry about matching textures or patterns