Stu Barnes

Passionate about #family #friends #wwfc #running #beer. They say time changes everything—but we change time

[England @England]

For a place in the @FIFAWorldCup final.

It’s matchday for the #ThreeLions in Atlanta! 🦁

[RC deWinter @RCdeWinter]

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

* An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

* Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

* A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

* A question mark walks into a bar?

* A non sequitur walks into a bar.
In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

* Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

* A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

* A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

* Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

* A synonym strolls into a tavern.

* At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

* A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

* Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

* A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

* An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

* The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

* A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

* The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

* A dyslexic walks into a bra.

* A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

* A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

* A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

* A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony .

– Jill Thomas Doyle

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

@wwfcofficial @Nothing_But_T Great bit of business. Highly intelligent player. Would love to see him alongside an out and out #9.

[England @England]

Matchday in Miami. A chance to make the final four.

COME ON ENGLAND! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Ok, @lululemon, you confirmed that you can’t locate my item and will need to start a 5 day investigation. And you won’t ship a new one to me in that time, despite it being an issue with your business processes. Many thanks. Such great customer services.

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

So, @lululemon, you came back to me and said basically it’s not your issue, it’s my issue to resolve.

Do all customers have this experience with you?

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

So, @lululemon, you came back to me and said basically it’s not your issue, it’s my issue to resolve.

Do all customers have this experience with you?

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Hi @lululemon, despite ordering an item 2 1/2 weeks ago, I’ve not received it or had any update updates on delivery date despite my chasing. Please let me know how I arrange a refund.

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Hi @lululemon, despite ordering an item 2 1/2 weeks ago, I’ve not received it or had any update updates on delivery date despite my chasing. Please let me know how I arrange a refund.

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

It’s go time @Pulse_Netball 🏀💗

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

GRAND FINALS 🏆

⏰15:00 | 📍 Co-op Live

Today is the day. Tune in to @Skynetball to catch the Netball Super League Grand finals. 🩷⭐

Let’s go 💪💪

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

Finals here we come 🤩🏆

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Let’s go Pulse 🏀💗

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

⏰ 16:00 | Lee Valley VeloPark

It’s Preliminary Finals day! Vs @LboroLightning ⚡️

Tune in to @SkyNetball to catch all the action 📺

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

Big W in the thriller 🔥

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Let’s go Pulse! 🏀💗

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

⏰ 17:00 | @CopperBoxArena

Back at home and live on @BBCSport – see you there! 🩷

[Surrey Cricket @surreycricket]

Bryony Smith leads from the front as we open our 2026 season with a victory over Lancashire Thunder! ✅

🩵 | #VitalityBlast

[Surrey Cricket @surreycricket]

Starting the season with a bang 🔥

A comprehensive victory over Lancashire Lightning on a summer evening at the Kia Oval 🏟️

🩵 | #VitalityBlast

[Surrey Cricket @surreycricket]

Two wins from two to kick off the @VitalityBlast! 🚀

What a night! 😎

🩵 | #VitalityBlast

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Lovely stuff! En route now. Come on Surrey 🏏🍻🕶️

[Surrey Cricket @surreycricket]

All the info you need if you're celebrating National Beer Garden Day with us at the Kia Oval! ℹ️🍻

FULL @BrixtonBrewery MATCH DAY GUIDE 📲 https://t.co/TSz5uEH5kN

🩵 | #KiaOval

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

Amazing win today !! Full time score was a draw so 5 minutes each way extra time to take the win 🤩🤩

[Stu Barnes @stuartbarnes78]

Let’s go @Pulse_Netball 👏🏼🩷🏀

[London Pulse Netball @Pulse_Netball]

Starting 7 for this evenings game vs lightning ⚡️🩷💪

[Wycombe Wanderers @wwfcofficial]

WHAT A MOMENT

MICAH OLABIYI ON HIS EFL DEBUT

3-2 on 90'

[Wycombe Wanderers @wwfcofficial]

Job well done 👏