Stuart Crook

I do the typing that makes the magic happen.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Ah. So that's what my password was.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Could someone check everything’s okay with David Attenborough. This new show of his is really grimdark. Right now he’s got cute little hamsters fighting each other.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

I could try to live tweet my evening in this NHS ward, but by the time I introduced the snoring stabbing victim and his police escort you’d just dismiss it as too-broad satire and stop reading.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

I honestly can’t remember a day when the Great Northern service into Moorgate was completely and utterly fucked.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

I do love waking up to another App Store Review rejection. This time they don't like the screenshots I've been using for the last 2 years.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

@stroughtonsmith Yeah, I got that for mentioning the iPhone X simulator in a Mac app 😐

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

The sentient animals vs regular animals divide in Hey Duggee is even more confusing than the one in Peppa Pig.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

I get a better connection to my home wifi at the bus stop across the road than I do in my kitchen.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

I guess with Boris trotting the globe and insulting all the foreigners on our behalf, Phillip felt he was out of a job.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Whoa. Easy with the spoilers. Some of us haven't finished watching “The Crown” yet.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Or invent self-walking shoes. Whichever is easiest.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Once we've sorted self-driving cars, can we ban walking? Because other pedestrians are the worst.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Still pissed about that coding test rejection. It wasn't even a bloody singleton, it was a shared instance.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

“You have 4 hours to implement the login flow according to these designs then check it into our git repo.”

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

I bet some start-up somewhere built its v1.0 bit by bit using prospective hires' coding tests.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Hello. I build apps. I've built a lot of apps. I'd like to build some more. I'm pretty good at building apps. I could build one for you.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

Anyway… Anyone know how efficient a sweaty twitter rant is as a method of getting yourself recruited?

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

… you could only call them diverse in that they've gone to all corners of the globe to find their white male staff.

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

And this is as a middle aged, middle class white man, with all the privilege that affords. Places I've been interviewing …

[Stuart Crook @stuartcrook]

But I guess in a way it's good. I'm getting a great sense of the kind of environments I never ever want to find myself working in.