Stuff My Dad Shits

My Dad has irritable bowel syndrome

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Diarrhea, now. I'm too old for this shit.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Darnit! The janitor's overfilled the bum wad dispenser and I can't get any out without tearing it into confetti I can't wipe my ass with.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

World Toilet Day - serious business: http://t.co/X9cYnK0a

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Sounds ike the guy in the next stall's playin' Angry Birds. Either that or he needs a doctor...

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Been livin' on cheese omelets for days Not a good idea if I want an easy time of it in the john. talk about openin' old wounds...

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Jeez. Just spent forty five minutes on the log flume.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Oh jeez. My least favorite movie. Gross encounters of the turd kind.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

I don't believe it! All stalls occupied. Has the whole building gone down with a nasty case of Montezuma's Revenge?

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

It's like Grand Central Station in here. Puttin' me off.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Say what? Too much information? You're following a guy talking about his bowel movements fer chrissakes...

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Judging by the splash, the guy in the stall next door's enjoying a protracted session of firm Type 4s. Jealous.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Washroom looks like it was hit by a tornado with baboons in it. What is it with people these days?

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Can't believe the jerk in the next stall is using his cell...

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Guy in the stall next door is WHISTLIN'. There oughtta be a law...

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

To the guy in the next cubicle. Stop singin'. You're puttin' me off.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Settling down in the can with an audiobook of Krapp's Last Tape

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

There is no call to sing in the john

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

One of the most disturbing sensations in human experience is sitting on a warm lavatory seat. Someone has been here before you...

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

A bright orange stool with hard green flecks in it. You couldn't make this shit up.

[Stuff My Dad Shits @stuffmydadshits]

Heavy breather in the next cubicle. Spoilin' my concentration.