Массовик-сотейник

Рефлексия, мемы, звуки

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Взялся обновлять свое резюме. Охуел от того какой я крутой специалист…

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

@whoodenko Мне хватает что меня знатно ебут на работе

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

В Любляне в баре, основанном экспатами из России, хуярил шоты с основателями, их подругой таджичкой, эстонкой, ее мужем французом-парижанином под ближневосточное техно. Насколько нишево?

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Пищдец. А столы нормальные сделать не?

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Mcdonalds turned their famous boxes into a functional table design for eating

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

@Coach_poyurov «Держаться строгого плана»… «сорваться на недельку на юг» 🤔🤔🤔🤔

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

@McFaul Кто-нибудь ему объяснит как пользоваться интернетом?

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Этот клуб алкоголиков был настолько анонимным, что на него никто не пришел

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Каждый раз ржу с карточек результатов головоломок на LinkedIn. Блять, да 95% владельцев аккаунтов умнее 95% исполнительных директоров так то 😅

[Karina Vinnikova @KarinaVinnikova]

Western European vs Eastern European

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

@ts_ole 😂😂😂

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Православие и отвага

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Золотой фонд дейтинговых приложений)

[໊ @cdoll]

“Why God? Why?”

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Забавно, что во многих антиутопиях диктатор появляется перед публикой не самолично, а по видеосвязи… интересная параллель с нынешними временами

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

@sidrunitee Хорошо мама поддалась внушению)

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Русских придумал Ленин

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

@micheevs5 Шойгумпаджананда, Герасиманандрадж!

[Массовик-сотейник @subbotazh]

Сегодня закончилась война.
Началась она из-за амбиций политиков, продолжалась на фоне недооценки сопротивления, а закончилась без какой-либо ответственности зачинщиков за всё случившееся.

Я про Вьетнам 50 лет назад. А вы про что подумали?