debris.

i talk about death too much; i don't know how else to describe home.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

maybe it's not that I'm too tired waiting to be saved.
maybe I am just not meant to be saved at all.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

I don’t want to feel like I’m competing with your life just to exist in it.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

what hurts the most is knowing that even if I walk away, you wouldn’t be losing me because you’d actually have to care about me to lose me.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

If you had only wanted me in the moment, then I was a fool to assume you wanted me at all.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

if silence is how you communicate, that's how I'll tell you I'm done with you.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

love is patient, love is kind
it does not feed violent thoughts to your mind.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

people read silence as peace but I’ve always tasted it as abandonment.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

my nervous system doesn’t know how to feel safe around you anymore.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

Starting to believe my absence will be kinder than my presence.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

Half grace, half damage.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

do you still love me or do you only stay because you feel sorry for me?

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

and maybe I talk about goodbyes too much because I never knew what it's like to have someone stay. I learned to walk away first before they did. it hurts less this way, doesn't it?

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

how do you know what home feels like if you've never felt safe in it?

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

"i love you." why don't you want to work this out?
"i love you." i'm sorry, don't be mad.
"i love you." i'll be good, i'll do better.
"i love you." please.
"i love you." why isn't it me?
"i love you." i'm sorry.
"i love you." you deserve better.
"i love you." take care, goodbye.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

when did "i love you" start to sound like "why isn't this enough?"

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

did you forget that i exist?

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

my place with you will always be behind her.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

your absence is a language I cannot understand. I still refuse to believe that your empty chair does not mean you are coming back.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

i know my place. and there is no room in it for me.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

I always try my best to keep you, when you’ve never belonged to me.
And deep down I bury the hidden truth: that I had hoped we were meant to be.

[debris. @subtlewreckage]

I could give a whole speech about love, and you wouldn't even know it's about you. You wouldn't even know that you are my muse.