white suburban dad

you guys ready to rock n roll?

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@typicallyrobyn ok but will it be the stranger’s birthday month??

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@localburnergirl Tetons is fantastic, Grand Canyon is a must see, and you could spend 10 days in Utah just doing national parks too! Zion, Bryce, Arches, etc

big fan of national parks over here in case you can’t tell

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@localburnergirl hit up some national parks! Glacier Park in Montana is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Yellowstone, Tetons, even Roosevelt in ND

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@typicallyrobyn I mean yeah I want a sip of beer to try too but if you say that before 11am sometimes people judge

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@The_Mass_Hole @ExhaustedSoxFan I mean he also loses 7 days worth of game checks. for a guy like Contreras that’s nothing but Cavalli hasn’t signed any kind of big contract yet. it’s not a significant amount but that is a factor on top of games missed

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@GODJ2 @MoTownBaseball1 @cobly2sweettt brother you had one idiot say Verdugo and one idiot say Torres, and dozens of people saying he would be beloved. there will always be idiots on twitter who shit on amazing players for rage bait. take a breath. we’re all on your side here, you’re just the only one who’s pissed off

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@evildonkey01 @DoubleVodkaDon chins*

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@0ddette @ohwowcrazy if you watch the full interview you’ll see he’s saying that he felt comfortable leaving because he wasn’t crucial to the show, that he was free to be the seasoning without needing to be an anchor that plays the straight man

he’s not complaining or alleging anything

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@CarterNixon @McSmurray I have no dog in this fight but it’s weird that you’re 100% agreeing with hunches and gut feelings but when someone says the opposite it’s “yeah he’s obviously faking it”

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@Amilify10mg

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@the0nlygirl Dads at a restaurant that just got crowded: boy we sure got here at the right time

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@alyssaleann you have 23,000 tweets and your pinned tweet is about spending all your time on Twitter and you’re getting an ick because he’s not being “productive” while playing video games?

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@CoachSkalaski @ChiBearsHawk @TreVeyonH4 ok I’m just gonna do a little bit more adultery and then I’ll repent and sin no more I promise. only a little bit more!!!

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@MichaelGWD @Mets isn’t the “best closer in the league on the IL with a 10+ ERA?

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@MichaelGWD @Mets isn’t the “best closer in the league” on the IL with a 10+ ERA?

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@Amilify10mg ok so I can still send you my “one direction songs as a baseball team’s lineup” DM right?

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@PeterSchmidhub2 @S_Fitzpatrick @TheAtlantic the Democratic Party has pretty much unequivocally kicked this guy to the curb since his shit hit the fan. how come that never happens to all the republican sex pests

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@Amilify10mg lol I misread shoe sizes as birthdays, but yeah that makes sense. that’s what you should look for! I’m just sensitive to people who glorify uninvolved dads (not you, but the original TikTok) because they make enough money to theoretically not care about kids stuff

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@Amilify10mg I think that’s totally fair, but I also think for your (hypothetical) kids’ sake, they deserve a dad who takes at least the bare minimum amount of interest in their life to know when their birthdays are. no amount of money to a kid will make “dad forgot my birthday” hurt any less

[white suburban dad @suburnerdad]

@RfrmdEvangelicl @lucy_rohden oh fuck yeah pour out all the wrath all over me big daddy 🥵