Sultronica

Crush life, one level at a time.

[Sultronica @sultronica]

#threefictionalcharactersthatdescribeme

[Sultronica @sultronica]

Birthday sex? Nah, Earth Day Sex.🌎🌍🌏🫢

[Sultronica @sultronica]

@JoseCanseco What do you get when you cross a rat and a cheetah? You get disgraced D-list celebrity @JoseCanseco

To clarify, he cheated by using steroids his entire career then ratted on his teammates when he didn't have the spine to face the music.

[Sultronica @sultronica]

my Weird Al costume looks like David Koresh

[Sultronica @sultronica]

you think super mario's a union plumber?

[Sultronica @sultronica]

#bobbyshmurda for jeopardy host

[Sultronica @sultronica]

@EricClapton When #Clapton's not ripping off black music, doing heroin, and letting his children die, he's also telling people not to get vaccinated.

[Sultronica @sultronica]

auto-correct is just a robot's freudian slip

[Sultronica @sultronica]

I just wrote a 1 star yelp review and, frankly, it felt electrifying

[Jon Bois @jon_bois]

why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter

[Sultronica @sultronica]

@NHLPlayerSafety Replying to
@NHLPlayerSafety
This is more proof that "player safety" is not your committee's objective. It's only a matter of time before you have another Bertuzzi incident and Wilson paralyzes someone on live TV.

Does protecting Wilson really help NHL's ratings?
#BanWilson

[Sultronica @sultronica]

hear me out:
West-Monster Dog Show, a dog show that is also a haunted house

[Sultronica @sultronica]

* Googles "moving to Canada" *

[Sultronica @sultronica]

John "John Stockton" Stockton

[Sultronica @sultronica]

Velcro is duct tape for people with commitment issues

[Sultronica @sultronica]

@NHLSeattle_ @NHL
Wait, so there's just one Kraken? Does Bezos own the rights to the other Krakens?

[Sultronica @sultronica]

Divorced for being too old. Her revenge makeover will make you gasp.

[Sultronica @sultronica]

#bagpocalypse

[Sultronica @sultronica]

Toto is a very good dog but a very bad band.

[Sultronica @sultronica]

a dating app but for Nicolas Cage fans

[Sultronica @sultronica]

After all these years, the Sunday Night Football theme song still slaps. #cmv