not summer smith

having a trenta day, not just a venti day

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

i still think about how oily kim k's skin was when she wore the marilyn monroe dress to the met gala and you know what good for her doing whatever it took to pull that look off

[Lee Radziwill @RadziwillLee]

All men will disappoint you,
so just choose the richest one.

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

.@rebmasel ok so technically not a court transcript, but this wild ride was produced as part of an ongoing (and noteworthy) defamation lawsuit going on in our city:
https://t.co/z2ERcSR99X

the internet is BEGGING for your take

background for context:

https://t.co/Eup5P0rFkM

[Dennis @D3nnis__3]

How did we go from Brat Summer to Hitler Winter

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

@JoeJGeiger @BasedMikeLee what do you have against single, childless women?

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

It is Mad Men canon that Harry Crane was killed during the 1991 Clio Awards

[claudia irizarry aponte @clauirizarry]

I’ve been saying this for years: Every major airport in America is leaving money on the table by not having a nail salon

[keely flaherty @keelyflaherty]

the most realistic part of the parent trap is that annie/hallie’s dad has absolutely no idea that his daughters have switched places, but within 48 hours hallie’s nanny/surrogate mother is like “you didn’t eat your chili, who are you little stranger”

[meg succession text posts @successtextpost]

& then she said idrgaf 😂😂😂

[nesrin danan @blackprints]

im literally employee of the month at delululemon

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

did u know that james cameron was at the bottom of the ocean looking at the titanic when 9/11 happened. it’s true. when he came back up he stepped out of the submersible and his assistant somberly approached him and said “sir. 9/11 happened”

[Sophie Ross Brooks @sophrossbrooks]

Remember when deux moi posted a submission yesterday (“anon pls”) that the #titan submarine had been found with the 5 passengers safe?

Deux moi has never posted anything untrue, so I’m sure it’ll just be any minute now that this information is officially released to the public.

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

considering the titanic's ultimate circumstances was "my deepest condolences" really a sound word choice?

[Captain Bligh @SupremeLeaderD3]

Being in a meeting with upper managers really makes me realize how useless these people are. Their only skill is that they're good in meetings.

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

those moms: dO yOuR oWn ReSeArCh

school librarians: define your topic, develop a research strategy, use boolean operators ...

those moms:

school librarians: evaluate sources...

the same moms @ school board mtgs: LIBRARIANS ARE CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN WE MUST BAN @JUDYBLUME

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

@akachela 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

@WMichelleWho they've officially gone too far.

[not summer smith @summerofmorty]

may we all have the confidence of the music teacher who sent council rock primary's first graders home with kazoos this week @BrightonBelieve