Vera Alves

Writer, columnist. Portuguese in Aotearoa New Zealand 🇵🇹🇳🇿. Never knowingly under-caffeinated. Permanently tired. Views all mine, you get your own. She/her

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

Emplastro started it in the 1990s.

[Lemma the Optimist @DoctorLemma]

Back in 2009, in London, England, a bald, overweight community worker named Paul Yarrow decided he was tired of news cameras only ever filming attractive people for street interviews.

So he started showing up in the background of live broadcasts, always in the same beige sweater, just walking past or pretending to be on his phone, never saying a word.

By the middle of 2010 he had appeared in over 100 live news shots across the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Sky News and Al Jazeera. He told reporters it was a protest. “It is a statement about the image-conscious media.”

A British comedian on the BBC dismissed him as “one fat guy who just wants to get on telly,” which Yarrow said proved his point exactly.

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

And that's canon, baby

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

In 1998, Lisbon celebrated the opening of Vasco da Gama Bridge by serving feijoada (a stew of meat and beans) to 14,763 people seated at a 5000-metre-long table. The event was sponsored by Fairy who used one bottle of its washing up liquid to wash all 14,763 dishes.

[nabais @Nabais]

O obituário no NYT https://t.co/VDTJ5CU2Y2 via @NYTimes

[Francisco J. Viegas @fjviegas]

Uma página.

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

The best writer of his generation. What this human did with words is can't be described, only experienced. Urging everyone I know to read him, forever (but even more so now, with the world in this state). Mourning his loss from New Zealand. Até sempre, ALA.

[Comunidade Cultura e Arte @comculturaearte]

António Lobo Antunes (1942 - 2026)🤍

[Ricardo F. Lima @MimeticLima]

escrevia como quem tira pontos a uma ferida sem anestesia, devagar, com uma precisão que era uma forma de carinho ou de crueldade ou das duas coisas juntas porque nele eram a mesma coisa, a vírgula o instrumento cirúrgico, a vírgula e o travessão, e nós ali deitados na mesa de operações com o peito aberto e o coração à mostra e o homem
– estão a ver?
a apontar para o sítio exacto onde a coisa doía, o sítio que nem nós conhecíamos, e a dor tão precisa que parecia alívio, e o alívio tão grande que parecia dor, e fechávamos o livro como quem fecha uma ferida que vai ficar sempre aberta, sempre, e que de algum modo nos curava por estar aberta.

e agora que o senhor já não escreve, que as palavras lhe fugiram como os pardais fogem das cerejeiras quando se bate com a colher na panela, agora que o senhor está onde as frases não chegam, quem é que me explica o meu pai e minha mãe, quem é que me explica a minha avó a arrumar os pratos da ceia sem fazer barulho para que a tristeza não nos acordasse nem aos vizinhos, quem me desenha as gentes do meu país, quem é que agora nos escreve como somos, tortos, calados, medrosos, orgulhosos, ridículos, soberbos nas nossas misérias ínfimas, imensos na nossa incapacidade de pedir ajuda, a cozinhar feijoada para vinte quando só vêm dez e a guardar as sobras no frio para a semana com a mesma seriedade com que se guardam como se guarda o banco da escola onde uma pequena que já não é pequena me sorria e depois atrás da escola, no foco, mãos, a boca na boca num vê se te avias dos dentes, os dentes dela para os meus dentes
- agora desemerda-te
e o mundo reduzido àquele metro quadrado de sombra e cal e ervas entre as pedras, ela a guiar-me a mão como quem guia um cego, sem pressa, com uma paciência que desmerecida, até ao sítio exacto onde o corpo dela deixava de ser corpo e passava a ser outra coisa, quem me vai explicar Portugal inteiro de costas voltadas para si próprio a fingir que não chora, os livros dele na prateleira com a lombada virada para mim como quem vira as costas
– agora desemerda-te
e eu sem saber como se desenrasca uma pessoa de si mesma

adeus Lobo Antunes. adeus amigo.

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

"I would be obsessed with me today, are you kidding? I would love me. And I think that's the biggest flex of all time. That you can have little younger you be proud of you today." - Eileen Gu, the WOMAN that you are 🔥🔥https://t.co/ZeowzrtwAf

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

The Baftas incident is breaking people's brains because the internet has conditioned everyone to think that everything is one thing *or* another and you must pick a side. But real life is far more complex than that and this is a very good reminder of that.

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

What. A. Read.

[Toronto Life @torontolife]

Lucy Li wanted to be a TikTok star. Oliver Karafa wanted to be rich. When a friend got in the way of their plans, they combined forces and pulled off a murder plot so preposterous that one of their lawyers used stupidity as a defence https://t.co/pgws4jF1EW

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

That thing you're not writing down because you're 100% sure you'll remember later? Yeah, write it down.

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

Watching MAFS and realising regular people are all getting fillers and veneers is wild. Begging ppl to stop this, I already only have one eye, I can't afford to become self conscious about my very normal, not at all straight teeth.

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

The realisation that "ect" will one day become an accepted abbreviation and "museli" an actual word and that it's up to me to make my peace with that because that's how language works. 🫠

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

Acordar na NZ com noticias horriveis de casa. Tantas boas memorias do Elevador da Gloria 💔 https://t.co/fsMaodg1W5

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

the internet:

1. look at the horrifying thing that happened when this child was riding their bike alone

2. parents no longer let kids ride their bikes alone and that's why society is collapsing

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

okay but so will french montana soooo

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

imagine logging off for one day then trying to understand this tweet.

[.⋆✮rey✰⋆˙ @thejudgementgay]

cena hating on mr beast >>>>

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

Begging this man to stfu

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Armie Hammer reveals he tried hooking up with a man because 'women are the worst':

“I tried hooking up with a dude one time. It was hilarious... Because I was like, you know what? Like, women are the worst. Gay dudes seem to have it so easy. Like, so easy. I'm at a restaurant, my phone blows up, and it's, like, Grindr, and someone else is like, 'I'm at the same restaurant. Do you want a blowjob in the bathroom?' And you're like, 'Hey, guys. I'll be back in five minutes.’ Okay, this could work. This could work. Yeah. Let’s try this.' I remember I started making out with him, and I just remember being like, God! Beards! Oh I get why women like it when you shave! Like, this thing is f*cking rough. Like, how do I get in there? I put my arms around him and I was like, ‘Oh my God! And these shoulders are so wide! He’s so big! He’s almost my height. Like, this is so strange.' It did physically for me absolutely nothing. Nothing, like, not even a twitch. He reached for my d**k and I responded, ‘You’re not going to touch my flaccid penis. Like, this is not going to happen.’”

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

more michael sheens pls

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

Michael Sheen writes off £1m of debt for 900 people https://t.co/sAK9fJ02mK

[Meg | The Feminist Budget Mom @_nomadic_soul]

Women are “choosing a job over their own children” but men are “working hard for their families.”

✨This is sexism.✨

[Vera Alves @supergenericgal]

I don't this hellscape is no longer a good place for recommendations but here's one anyway. I ordered two books from Lamplight Books in Auckland yesterday afternoon and they arrived at my door in central Otago at lunchtime today, individually wrapped and with a handwritten card.