Clark Kent

I'm like you, but better.

[Clark Kent @superhumanize]

I got two high fives today.

So, I'll probably think about that all night instead of getting drunk and crying myself to sleep.

[Clark Kent @superhumanize]

I bet this peeping tom session would be a lot less awkward if I hadn't been spotted.

And if that wasn't my mom in there.

[Clark Kent @superhumanize]

"We're not even on each other's 'Similar To You' lists on Twitter." - Terrible reason to break up with someone.

[Clark Kent @superhumanize]

The "one that got away" means something entirely different when that one is wearing a gnawed through ankle cuff.

[Clark Kent @superhumanize]

Honestly, "Bed, Bath & Beyond!" has to be the worst superhero catchphrase I've ever heard.