Chris Peloso

😶 (Thee / Thou)

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

Do you ever find yourself thinking that, in an infinite multiverse, there are an infinite # of songs that could be recorded, but that in this universe, The Humpty Dance is an absolute, undeniable thing that happened and will never not be part of your indelible history on Earth.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

I mean 65 felonies.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

As a defense attorney, let me say that I’ve never had a client walk into court to face 34 felonies and still expect to go home without spending a single night in jail.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

I just read the #TrumpIndictment and I think it’s important to note that this wasn’t just random stuff. Some of these documents are so highly classified that even the markings saying how highly classified they are are themselves classified.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

@junniechuparts https://t.co/eyZuHzyQeM

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

@WillMuldoon Having been to Wrangell twice in the last few months, I agree with you that there’s no easy way in or out that isn’t going to cost you $600+.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

@allegedlycam And today is her birthday as well!

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

Know how sometimes they build a new, bigger, road alongside an existing one and rename the previous one “Old X St.”? They should call those streets “myways” so that when you give directions you can tell people to go “myway or the highway!”

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

After I retire I may to move to Finland and found a school to teach young girls to become proper young ladies, and name the school The Start School. Just so when people enroll they will have to say that they are starting Start Finnish Finishing school with a straight face.

[Ashleigh Fox @tinyghosts_boo]

I have it on very good authority that our chapbook of Alaska-themed sonnets is now available at the Juneau Arts & Humanities Council @jahc gift shop. I’d suggest you go down there and get it quick before they actually read it and realize what they are selling.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

@WillMuldoon I bet if we made a simple law that said all costs for special session would come directly out of our PFD dividends, there’d never be a representative willing to vote for a special session again.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

Received a positive ruling from the AK Supreme Court for the case I argued in February:

https://t.co/OlaENIbIVf

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

He’s not even wearing a helmet.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

How can Portland describe itself as "safe" when they've got bigfoots scaling the buildings? That's not safe at all. #PDX

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

Is this really the best photo they could come up with for this ad?

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

If I was going to start an account to trash post my hot legal takes, I’d definitely do it under the pseudonym “Fatticus Inch.”

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

@tinyghosts_boo This is my favorite poem of the whole bunch.

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

This whole blue checkmark controversy is really giving me a star-bellied sneetch vibe:

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

I can’t believe Twitter took away my legacy blue check mark. How are people going to know this is my official account and not just another fan account some weirdo made in my name?

[Chris Peloso @superluminal]

TV show idea: Master Chef meets Squid Games. Amateur chefs prepare dishes, and the loser of each round is chopped up and cooked by the remaining contestants in the subsequent round.

[Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc @JasonKPargin]

I graduated high school thinking I had zero gay or trans classmates, I only heard the word "autism" in movies and ADHD wouldn't become mainstream terminology until I was in college. Of course, my school had all of that; those kids were forced to struggle privately, alone.