Maranda

real G’s move in silence like lasagna

[Maranda @surffboardtt]

I work full time, I go to the gym at least 5x a week, I am a whole mother and wife and let me tell you I am BUSY, but I will always find time to be a hater. Period.

[i am @hotter]

i love when bad bitches are also comedians

[Maria Figuereo🇩🇴 @figtion]

I’m sorry but if you don’t think a billionaire shutting down one of the busiest streets in nyc ON THE 4TH OF JULY so she can have a wedding in a castle built inside a basketball court, is not the epitome of out of touch and “let them eat cake” then you just don’t care about people.

[FIORE @drakebonergif]

i’ve started farting at work. i don’t even fucking care anymore.

[Maranda @surffboardtt]

I don’t need to see the faces of the people on top of the Empire State Building to know they’re hot. I just know.

[kenni ✨ @NekieNek__]

Don’t skip the gym today. Start the week off right.

[sergio @spongbobfan369]

One day the wordle will be penis

[ravens @_R4V3N5_]

is there a way to permanently be under the effects of two beers

[Maranda @surffboardtt]

Wish Jesse Lacey wasn’t a bitch because Brand New tickets in Anaheim are mad cheap but like fuck that man

[thomas @thomashobohm]

it's never too late. start doing romanian deadlifts. get a fat ass. that will solve everything.

[¿ @umlarp]

cut my life into peaches

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

They should make a Zofran Vape

[` @schiz04renic]

My only fitness goal is to look like a problem

[Maranda @surffboardtt]

*and if you read this and tell yourself, “big deal, she probably used a GLP1” nope, those terrify me. All diet and exercise and loooong hours in the gym. Choke on it 💖💖🤪

[Maranda @surffboardtt]

In case the girl who called me hefty 2 years ago still stalks my page; thank you!! You being a hater gave me the push I needed to lose 63 lbs, become the strongest I’ve ever been, hottest I’ve ever been, and have the full capability to whoop your ass without a doubt. Thanks bby💖

[𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ @muheediva01]

Yall need to start being mean to people that are mean to YOU. Stop that bigger person shit.. Release your inner bitches or whatever Natasha Bedingfield said!

[mimi @schmimsi]

hard by hayley williams is the only song ever btw

[˖ Ritz 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

hitting the gym because I can't hit someone

[tom @pricesandvices]

Sad day for people who know the price for scrap metal

[miia @miiagarro]

i have ghosted half my bloodline.. believe me when i say idgaf