Matt

Light dad jokes.

[Matt @surreal98]

America is a failed state and I just get more and more proof every day.

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

haven’t waited tables since 2014 but every Sunday I still get a little jumpy imagining being triple sat & all three tables want water, coffee AND mimosas

[Matt @surreal98]

@howintensive @TimKalpakis There’s too many shows!

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

good morning

[Cam @harleybaghdad]

I don’t have time to read a “Baby on Board” bumper sticker. I am on my phone

[Matt @surreal98]

@AmIDoinItWright Heartwarming: I decided to make this struggling person work for me for free and it was the most cathartic experience for me. You should get indentured servants for the God complex you develop.

It’s always a novel length post too.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

first they came for roger stone, and i said “great.” next, they came for alex jones and i said “good news.” then they came for donald trump and i said “this is also excellent”

[morgan sung @morgan_sung]

the stanford prison experiment but it's run by nathan fielder

[Matt @surreal98]

@LAGladiators @UnterOW Chad Unter. Unbeatable mental. Match team POG

[Matt @surreal98]

@wapplehouse Bullying works 😎

[ab d. roger @aliabdi]

double meat at chipotle is free this week you just need to bring a gun

[Matt @surreal98]

Every day in this hell site has made me ponder man made atrocities beyond comprehension.

Pretty funny people here though and that day we all collectively shit posted our brains off when Trump got COVID was ok I guess.
#MyTwitterAnniversary

[Matt @surreal98]

$6 gas for our out of state moving is hitting different.

Glad some 85 year old ghoul who would crush orphans if there was profit in it gets to set prices not based on demand or any real material reason gets my money.

[frog "Philip K. Dickgirl" kosaric @yurirando]

spoiler alert for the rest of joe biden's presidency

[Anaheim Ducks @AnaheimDucks]

@GoldenKnights You sure?

[Matt @surreal98]

@debug8 @JasonRitter @PFTompkins Netflix series Movies that Made Us the stunt coordinator talked about how Rickman was angry they did the drop from the crane before the signal but the results are so worth it.

It was like a 15-30 foot drop still and the green screen honestly turned out great got the era.

[Matt @surreal98]

@socialistdogmom Heartbreaking, and proof that you were the actual catalyst and person responsible for saving a life.

Thanks for sharing a most likely painful memory and being a strong member of your community at a young age.