Even if your tahajjud duas are not accepted, does not mean they are gone to waste, Allah has planned miracles for you, Allah is going to give you something even more better. Its just a test. It may take years, but it will come to you.
Trauma makes you tolerate a lot of shit you don't deserve because you're too busy putting other people's feelings above your own. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve to be in your life, no matter how much you love them.