the swellington tonight

We Did It To Ourselves.
Comedy • Chaos • Commentary

[the swellington tonight @swellingtonshow]

the theory WAS the conspiracy!

https://t.co/TKkG0Uroly

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@kodeks0 Should change his name to “Jerk Glizzy”

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@SchwartzerMenlo Dang Z-man you don’t pay the talent anything? That’s cold

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@yashar Trump was a Biden dick rider before it was cool

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@Jaymoe_BYB This is a good one

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@TiffanyFong It’s “chinesse” brainiac

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@MurrayHillGuy1 Funny Money 2: Whoops I Did It Again

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@CinemaRhymes “I’ll need some close up shots of what it looks like and a full dossier, if everything checks I’ll send a room key and bag of money”-EM
“OMG you are so fascinating. I can also poop on command.”-AM
“That’s a plus!”-em

[the swellington tonight @swellingtonshow]

“That’s a truck I’d fu…remember” -wife
“He was a gentle all terrain lover.” Me
-no reaction to my killer line
#comedyshard

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@XpressTR “Tom likes older ladies, he enjoys how we fart and don’t know it…he is always laughing saying ‘your my puttering little Volkswagen’ isn’t that to die for!”

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@BeDabbler What a potshot! #punchingdown

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@pmelt That’s what you wear to a corporate gig? What a life!

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@_rathbone It turned out the Epstein files were a big misunderstanding and should just be forgotten.

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@TrumpsHurricane its like a death row pardon, two minutes too late. or at least that's how it was described to me.

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Not that cute. Kind of let down

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@AnthonyCumia Shouldn’t he be taking the photo? Who’s the star here?

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Terminal list on like fake list had to give his beloved dog a treat? #WEAK

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@Hollywoodladyy Photo one NP-“ugh what is that smell”
Photo two- “if you want the part smile at me like ima genius!”-LD

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@elizabethbelsky “Listen guys I do it all, I don’t care if anyone watches or your wife knows I just want to have an impact, you see…yes, hail Satan, he takes the bags of money not me.”-kk