Swiftmill

I’m swift. With a little mill sprinkled in.

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

You get an extra license for this instead of a revoked license

[delirious thoughts @sarcasmtoafault]

Just got a DWI for driving with Indonesians

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

Bro you know you’re not supposed to do that 🤦‍♂️

[delirious thoughts @sarcasmtoafault]

Just got a DUI for driving under Indonesia

[THE MMA GURU @THATBOYMMAGURU]

Jon Jones at home watching Derrick Lewis call out his own wife as his next opponent #UFCNashville

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

My girlfriend asked if I would still love her if she was a worm and I said yes of course.

I ask if she would still love me if I were a converted to Christianity and she said no :(

How do I tell her… (already converted)

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

@asifchach Skill is developed during preparation. Heart is arguably its own thing, I’ll agree on that.

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

Ummmm….. preparing for a fight does help you in a fight…

[MMAsif @asifchach]

@ChampRDS Helps you prepare. PEDS don't necessarily help you in the fight.

[Soulless Analyst @SoullessAnalyst]

where do you see yourself 12 beers from now, what’s your 12 beer plan

[Nate McGrady @natemcgrady]

car dealerships should not exist

I should be able to go to Chevy dot com, add a Camaro to my cart, and checkout with klarna

[dr. z, esq. @zeynepmyenisey]

my brother just sprinted into my room yelling OPEN GOOGLE TRANSLATE and typed this in and i just cant believe it's real

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

@sarcasmtoafault Didn’t think this one kind gesture from one black man to another would spark such a deep racial conversation

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

Today I saw a very kind black man buy a homeless black man a banana to eat, and the homeless man got mad at him for being racist. The kind man who gave him the banana was very confused

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

@sarcasmtoafault Tbh I’d be happier with strawberries anyways

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

@sarcasmtoafault It was because it was a banana. He said “I’m not a monkey” and then everyone was confused because we all love bananas

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

@sarcasmtoafault I was equally as confused

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

No offense 10 year class reunion, but fuck that shit!!! Why tf would I wanna see people from 10 years ago, I haven’t talked to you in 10 years for a reason!!!

[Swiftmill @swiftmilll]

Why is he shadow boxing in planet fitness

[Rain Drops Media @Raindropsmedia1]

Man who underwent a height BBL surgery, spending $81,000 to grow from 5'5" to 6'0", has completed over two years of physical therapy. Now, he's fully recovered and actively practicing various sports. Thoughts? 👀🔥 🥊 🏀

[a local @jedwill]

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure

[tubb @tubbbbss]

Why do balls have that stitch line in the middle