mary pound

passionate follower of Jesus Christ

[mary pound @swimtoo]

I have not been tweeting, so if you have received anything from me, it has been a fraud....

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/dxQKNEraLA Theoretically, you can't really complain if there's a pubic hair on your everything bagel.

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/tV8xcJWrc2 Life just handed me lemonade. Not sure what to do.

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/H1WiBdTaPF When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the girl with glitter on her face does.

[mary pound @swimtoo]

I like to watch fat people walk while a tuba plays in my mind. http://t.co/XRg8S9V7hz

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/zf1dUMYfXr Thursday is "date night", when I force my family to eat all the expired food in our fridge.

[mary pound @swimtoo]

After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs? http://t.co/qiAIL2k2Iz

[mary pound @swimtoo]

I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700's because guys kept checking their treasure maps. http://t.co/1bftagKkgA

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/MislTqsDlJ That's offensive -- Pikachu is his slave name.

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/Pjo24W26py "It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos

[mary pound @swimtoo]

Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell. http://t.co/92gNUMHJuP

[mary pound @swimtoo]

"It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos http://t.co/T2rPLAfoL3

[mary pound @swimtoo]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/6fXmFfFRyF

[mary pound @swimtoo]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/DZfOeHjl4g

[mary pound @swimtoo]

Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February. http://t.co/wFoOJduZO9

[mary pound @swimtoo]

How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/nHqL5bVg6O

[mary pound @swimtoo]

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/tati7IatRr

[mary pound @swimtoo]

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? http://t.co/mpdkumrg4t

[mary pound @swimtoo]

http://t.co/Sqpnheh8Pt Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt?

[mary pound @swimtoo]

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/Q78tZRAu