Sydney Beckwith

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

A flight attendant just told the guy in front of me he’d been upgraded to first class and without even thinking he goes, “Can my wife take it?” His son asks, “Why does Mom get first class?” and he just says, “Because she’s awesome.” 😭 That tiny interaction made my entire day.

[shrimps💪🍤 @shrimpchipsss]

death by a thousand $20 purchases

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

As an adult, missing trash day is one of the biggest L’s you can take

[hannaH 🦆✖️✖️ @coughdropsh]

I want dippin dots but I don’t wanna go to the zoo or waterpark, where am I supposed to find them

[paige @BonerWizard]

I wish they hadn’t made the car fly at the end of Grease

[Maliha @CaffeinatedLiha]

The worst part of being a reader is realizing no one in real life will ever make you feel the way a single line of well written dialogue can.

[nic @dietxcokewhore]

why do you have to be born with generational wealth to be able to afford a decent area rug

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

I hate slow turners... SWING that car bro.

[jynx @miiagarro]

men will ask you zero questions about yourself and then say they never met anybody like you

[🧑🏾‍🦱 @ewgraiam]

they’re saying there’s 30g of protein in spending a night laughing with your friends

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

there shouldn't be wifi or texting on flights. i'm not myself in the sky. don't let me contact the ground people. that's not me up there

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life because literally nothing matters

[Solyricon @Solyricon]

God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.

[AYANNY @gaygirldiaries]

idk but i’m ready to be at an airport.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

me at my parents house and their weird ass show starts getting kinda good

[َ @gir1genius]

SNOOPY IMAGE OF THE DAY

[alex turntine @turntineforwhat]

nephew (11) got a new sweater and you can't tell him nothing. he talking bout he a quarter zip guy

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

I’m the only person in Trader Joe’s who knows what they’re doing

[𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐾 . @misskerrington]

being a yapper is so funny sometimes, like what am i even saying