I think we also have to ask who bears the cost of proving someone's growth. Too often the person harmed is expected to hear apologies, acknowledge progress, or grant closure. It's a strange conception of accountability if the victim still owes the perpetrator emotional labor
The concept of forgiveness "purifying" and resentment "rotting" is rooted in theological justification of abuses. Anger and resentment do not "rot" you, forgiveness doesn't "purify" you. They emerge in contextual relationships, resentment can be virtue and forgiveness can rot you
Esp bc forgiveness also functions as a way of restoring the social standing of the offender w/o requiring restitution. Once the victim refuses to forgive, they become the obstacle to reconciliation, & the community can treat their continued pain as disrupting social order
it's very concerning how much people continue to downplay and minimise misogyny at a time where misogyny keeps getting worse and worse. and then also act like women are delusional for seeing it.
in light of this it’s clear to me that his songs criticizing toxic masculinity and incels come from a place of perceived superiority, not out of concern for their victims or an understanding of misogyny. in many ways these progressive men are just the other side of that coin
i hate having to see these performative “kill your local rapist” ass takes from people who still knowingly and willingly associate with rapists. your local rapists are in your section! the call is coming from inside the club
i’m proud of every single person who’s come forward with their own stories and i’m heartbroken for each one of us who never got justice. it’s deeply unfair and it is wrong. but the onus shouldn’t be on survivors, i’m sick of doing the work, how about someone else speak up?
idk i don’t think i need to relive The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me every few years on a public forum just to try to convince some dweeb that women are human beings
support victims who are angry, express pain thru rage, refuse to forgive, dont let it go. is too obvious ppl want victims to suffer silently/in isolation, and show « bravery » by being happy and bubbly instead. victims being open with « negative » emotions should b supported too.