you know ;)

you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice? (any pronouns. adult. probably on here too much)

[matt @mattybtweets69]

dudes aren’t named Nebuchadnezzar anymore

[you know ;) @t_rex_thriving]

@suzietoot if you stay cerebral you aint gotta get cerebral!!

[Heph @hephasst]

THIS FUCKING THING FROM MY NOTES I COMPELTELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS .

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

need to marry a beautiful tall woman who can get the smoke detector when i’m cooking

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

Whenever a movie has a mayor as a character I’m like oh here we go. Here’s the mayor

[you know ;) @t_rex_thriving]

WE WIN THESE (i have never lived in New York)

[The Theater Lovers | Will & Rachael @theater_lovers]

Cole Porter lives on

[🐳 @2001V01]

"We got bigger fish to fry" is lowkey rs

If I had a bigger fish I'd fry dat
one

Cuz of the flavor

[Sami Gold @souljagoyteller]

Imagine being so online you know what Hyperborean means but not Chicano

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

The University of Michigan has canceled its undercover surveillance contracts after The Guardian published a story revealing private investigators trailing and recording pro-Palestinian campus groups.

[Jayeazywhat @jayeazywhat]

I Think My Money Is Gay It’s Too Many Men On Top Of Another! Happy Pride! 🫶🏻

[you know ;) @t_rex_thriving]

welcome back jon bois

[charlie @chunkbardey]

whenever ppl are like "we're looking for people <30 for a new project" it's like hmm. so the alligator is eating the bigger number which is 30. so that must mean they're looking for ppl who are younger than 30 in this case

[charlie @chunkbardey]

whenever ppl are like "we're looking for people <30 for a new project" it's like hmm. so the alligator is eating the bigger number which is 30. so that must mean they're looking for ppl who are younger than 30 in this case

[timmygami eyes @deliclit]

The concept of 45 minutes.. love that

[Riffing with Quote Tweet Prompt @necrobranson]

My culture does not use food to bring people together and we do not like to laugh. Family means nothing to us.

[Witch @witchwounds]

oh.. that's my goat... that's my goat getting washed...

[jon greenberg @jon_greenberg]

Last year, the White Sox didn’t lose eight in a row until late May. This team is way ahead of schedule.

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

When I was born they tossed me into a bin labeled 'No good', but then they fished me out, handed me a cane and a top hat, and told me I'd make it in show biz. I think I was tossed head first I'm so sleepy all the time, And violent. Bring me my tap shoes, I feel a song coming on

[ДАЙТЕ ЕЙ ГОТОВИТЬ ☭☭🍰🌸🥧 @bakingbolshevik]

His mind