thank you, this series won't spell everything out on screen, due to censorship by the church and because it's placing faith in the viewers
we've seen than TR believes he'll reunite with his parents in heaven and knows little of the world outside of the church
#tickettoheavenep4
#TicketToHeavenEP4
to be honest i think tanrak's devotion to god comes from his parents' faith and from the fact that the seminary took him in when he had nothing left in the world. it gave him food, a bed and a reason to live. it gave him friends and a future. however, the more he experiences and the more he explores his feelings, i think he is also questioning whether this call was real or if it was just the only choice he thought he had.
the love he felt from his parents got taken away at such a young age that his heart subsequently had to find it somewhere else and the easiest place was god's path. i truly don't think he ever even really questioned whether he'd feel any other type of love as big as the one he accepted (and also the one that would take him back to his parents).
the moment he realised there was another option, he questions everything hence why i think in this episode when he said "no" answering barth's question about choosing this path again wasn't really a "i'm not answering" but more a "no i wouldn't but i'm not ready to accept it just yet"
@khunnoozhilla can't believe so many people saying they don't know tanrak? almost the whole series is his perspective, the church/school is all he knows, literally not even allowed out of the premises, it's his whole world and his drive has been made clear re his parents and heaven, feel crazy