Matty Humble

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@bb_apes Tragic.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@bb_apes Who are you and why haven't I gotten the chance to ruin your life yet?

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@martiniposting If I walk into a girl's place and see the Master and Margarita, I'm proposing that night.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@Bert_666 I needed to see this, Bert.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@SheaSerrano just got back from shooting hoops at the park with my 7 year old son and he goes "can we watch that one with the 5 uncles? It's hilarious."

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@tentwentysixpm Now all restaurants are Taco Bell.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@jeffayc @NateSilver538 You mean potential franchise player Ben Simmons?

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@NifMuhammad This tweet is fucking magical.

But the overlap between NBA and Robyn fans is like 10 people max.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@rankresistance There's 8 songs on that album you could cut and I wouldn't miss them. And yet, the remaining 11 tracks are almost wall-to-wall all-timers.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@bb_apes Hooking up with the sister is a time-honored fuckboy tradition.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@no_ticket Just pour salt in the wound, bro.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@bb_apes This is profoundly beautiful.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@NifMuhammad Worriers are criminally, criminally underrated.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

Best Mick

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@matthewstoller This is one of those insights I wish libertarians understood.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@tentwentysixpm @1089TheHawk 100%

A bar opened down the road from me in Minneapolis where an IHOP used to be, and advertised itself as a dive bar. I hated it immediately. Then the entire staff quit/got fired because the owner was a dick.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@matthewstoller Alf is an acronym for Alien Life Form. Dude's real name is Gordon Shumway.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@danozzi I fucking hate that this is completely accurate.

[Matty Humble @takingchubbies]

@nerdtothecore Anthony Edwards