🍁 TAKING TROUT 🍁

PC: Trout/Jays
always learning, *tweets are my own and should never be taken seriously*

[Chris @citehchris]

can you die from a lack of being called big dawg

[Wendy’s @Wendys]

might change my name to Wemby’s and only serve french fries after last night’s game

[🍁 TAKING TROUT 🍁 @takingtrout]

@locallooneytune Those are sweet shelves

[Brian Roemmele @BrianRoemmele]

The underground Saskatchewan Rap scene was off the hook in 1990.

NSFW?

[Montreal Expos @Montreal_Expos]

“They’re 74-40. Cancel the season.”

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

You used to sell stuff on eBay.

Maybe an old camera. Maybe Beanie Babies. Maybe a coat that didn't fit.

You paid a small fee. The buyer got the thing. Everyone went home.

That eBay is gone.

The website looks the same. The logo is the same. The 135 million buyers are still there.

But the company isn't really a marketplace anymore.

It is an advertising business with a marketplace attached for distribution.

Last year, sellers paid eBay $2 billion just to make sure their own listings showed up.

Read that again.

The board calls this growth.

A Canadian who runs a video game store called it something else.

Here is what actually happened.

In 2020 the board hired a new CEO. His name is Jamie Iannone. He arrived with a strategy called focused categories.

In plain English, that means leaning into the stuff people pay extra for. Sneakers. Watches. Trading cards. Auto parts.

The everyday seller, the person with the camera and the coat, was no longer the customer.

The customer was now the seller who would pay to be seen.

In 2025 eBay did $80 billion in transactions. They kept $11 billion of that as revenue. Of that $11 billion, $2 billion came from advertising.

Sellers paid them $2 billion to promote listings on a website those sellers already pay fees to use.

That is the growth story.

In the same year, the number of enthusiast buyers, eBay's own term for their best customers, was 16 million.

It was also 16 million the year before.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

Four years. Zero growth. They mention this on every earnings call without mentioning it.

So what does a company do when growth stops?

It buys back its own stock.

In 2025, eBay returned over $3 billion to shareholders. Most of that was buybacks. In February the board authorized another $2 billion on top.

Buybacks shrink the share count. Earnings per share goes up even when earnings stay flat. The stock price follows.

The stock was $68 a year ago. It is $108 today.

The company did not improve. The denominator got smaller.

Then a man from Canada noticed.

His name is Ryan Cohen. He runs GameStop. He started his career selling pet food online and sold it to PetSmart for $3.35 billion.

He looked at eBay. 135 million buyers. $80 billion in transactions. Real margins. Real cash flow. A board harvesting the business instead of running it.

He bought 5% of the company through derivatives and stock.

Then on May 4, he offered to buy the rest. $125 per share. $56 billion total.

On May 12, the eBay board rejected the bid. They called it not credible.

The math is credible.

What the board means by not credible is we would have to explain why we sold.

Then Cohen went on Piers Morgan.

He said eBay is run by a bunch of losers with perverse financial incentives.

He pointed out that eBay's CEO has been paid $144 million over six years.

He pointed out that he personally takes no salary and has put $128 million of his own money into the company he runs.

You do not have to like Ryan Cohen to notice he is making a point that is hard to argue with.

eBay used to be a place where regular people sold things to other regular people.

Now it is a $48 billion company whose largest growth driver is charging its own sellers to advertise to a buyer base that stopped growing four years ago, while spending billions a year buying its own stock to make the chart go up.

The board calls this strategy.

A video game CEO from Canada called it what it is.

The market is now waiting to see who else agrees.

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[NHL @NHL]

College basketball player @Oli_Rioux of @UCImbb met up with some Montreal Canadiens at the Bell Centre! 🙌 #StanleyCup

📺: @CanadiensMTL vs. @BuffaloSabres Game 5 TOMORROW at 7p ET on @NHL_On_TNT, @Sportsnet, and @TVASports

(📸: @PeteYannopoulos)

[🍁 TAKING TROUT 🍁 @takingtrout]

@PuckJunk What is this.. a Scott Stevens fan account

[🍁 TAKING TROUT 🍁 @takingtrout]

Joker origins

[New York Basketball @NBA_NewYork]

Mike Breen: "Jalen Brunson's dad Rick Brunson is an assistant coach with the Knicks

He played in the NBA 9 years 8 different teams…

Always wanted to play for the Sixers

First time he was cut was by the Sixers

And the last time he was cut––knew his career was over––was by the Sixers

It was a Knicks Sixers preseason game

Rick Brunson played really well

Thought he was gonna make the team

Gonna finally make the Sixers

And he was told after the game "No. You're cut"

And that was it.

And they were up in New York. Madison Square Garden

And Jalen accompanied him as a little kid

He was 10 years old

They drove back from New York down to Philadelphia

And they were crying in the car

Because it was the end of Rick Brunson's career
…
And when his career was over

He started working with his son

Pushed him hard…

And you see what developed"

[Produdecer @Greg_Shannon]

This breaks my heart.

[Jay Cuda @JayCuda]

lebron will retire at 65 like everybody else

[Josiah Johnson @KingJosiah54]

Imagine a 41 year old man dominates your team in an elimination game at your crib then his son subs in for him

[🍁 TAKING TROUT 🍁 @takingtrout]

Okay to take a burn don't need to D up against your own kids

[NBACentral @TheDunkCentral]

Garrett Temple says his son keeps asking why he’s always on the bench

“My wife explained to him, ‘Daddy has played for a long time. So now, the younger guys are really good and it’s their time to play. Do you want to see video of when Daddy was playing a lot?’ So, we pulled up some YouTube clips.”

(Via https://t.co/3ieqRI6Uxo)

[Chuck Richter @ChuckRichter70]

Mike Trout's 2026 American League Rankings

Runs 29 1st
Walks 32 1st
OBP .431 3rd
HR 10 T-3rd
OPS 1.000 4th
RBI 21 T-4th
SLG .569 5th
TB 62 5th
XBH 15 T-5th

[Toronto Blue Jays @BlueJays]

Did you guys know that there's a big difference between the release points of Tyler Rogers and Trey Yesavage?

Did you guys know that?

Somebody should do a tweet about it.

Their release points are so different.

[Pookie @PookiesParadise]

Tell her Bron still doin it lol

[Mike Trout @MikeTrout]

@pubbycards 👊🏻

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

CRAZY: Every player who tore their Achilles tendon in the last two playoffs wore number 0

[Mikey O’ver @MikeyOver1]

Might be the the greatest edit of all time

Wow

[Baseball Quotes @BaseballQuotes1]

kids these days don’t know how good prime Mike Trout was