Just Ted

Bartender extraordinaire, insufferable smartass. Mostly ranting about tv or food, sometimes hockey ☭🚬♊ (he/they)

[Just Ted @talknted]

Few things inspire such fear and greed in a bartender as a wedding party in cowboy hats walking in

[Just Ted @talknted]

@partymom6 Literally almost all of these are off, ai bullshit I think

[Just Ted @talknted]

In the whole time I've lived in this apartment this is the lowest I've ever been on cheese

[Just Ted @talknted]

@AshleyInMKE I got in trouble for this at a job once, but her dad was ripping Manhattans and doing coke in the bathroom. I'm keeping the kid occupied and teaching her probability and statistics, how am I in the wrong?

[Just Ted @talknted]

Honestly don't know him well, but if he's not a jackass I hope they work it out. Very good looking guy, and she's a damn art teacher. She deserves something nice in her life

[Just Ted @talknted]

No one ever leers at me quite like the bouncer at my local, who's very clearly in love with the bartender that seems to trust me implicitly for some reason

[Just Ted @talknted]

Man, Simulation Swarm is a great song, I'd love to have any idea what it's about

[Just Ted @talknted]

@DannyVegito Look into ephedra plants and "Mormon tea", it gets even stranger

[Just Ted @talknted]

@BucksinPhilly It's sweatpants and no shirt, but yes

[Just Ted @talknted]

@miawaukee @dondivaquixote I recommend bringing your own stein and hitting up Blue Star Cafe afterwards

[timothy faust 🇵🇸 @taste_of_tbone]

You’d think you’d hear from people who have been to no-phones concerts explaining that it’s fine and makes the show better. Unfortunately, every single one of them died of medical complications mid-show or was kidnapped

[Just Ted @talknted]

@literally_chad I've gotten in trouble a few times bc like 80% of my contacts are "[name] [dive bar where we met or place we once worked together]"

[Just Ted @talknted]

@elisep25 I'm upset to even know this exists

[Just Ted @talknted]

@AshleyInMKE St Louis style ribs

[Just Ted @talknted]

@hanfjob I did once it was weird

[Just Ted @talknted]

@BootsRiley I was the only person in my theater laughing and I'm not sure what was wrong with the rest of them

[Just Ted @talknted]

Holy crap I can't believe it but I think that's a goal

[Just Ted @talknted]

I love watching hockey on espn bc they can be pulling up the most niche, statistically isolated record or leaderboard that anyone's ever dreamt up and like 9 times out of 10 Wayne Gretzky is still at the top

[Just Ted @talknted]

Everyone in this story is to my knowledge bi, myself included

[Just Ted @talknted]

This woman I used to be friends with actively and doggedly pursued another woman we knew, who had a boyfriend at the time, for years. It now appears she's dating the boyfriend herself, happy pride everyone

[Just Ted @talknted]

Having a mud room hallway would be so cool if I ever remembered to take my damn boots off