Tally McLongpants

Obnoxiously tall neurodivergent hated by all.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

Remember when standardized tests were all like: “One train is traveling at 60mph, the other is traveling at 50mph. At what point did you realize you were a disappointment to your parents?”

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@Osgood_thechris

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@RetiredPacifist 2015ish might have been the peak of human civilization

[MisterFister, PhD @MrFisterThe3rd]

Do me doggy style and by that I mean euthanize me

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@RetiredPacifist

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

It’s Monday. Prepare your buttholes.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

You’re all just a bunch of little jizz puppets with someone else’s hand up your ass.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@RetiredPacifist Too long. Didn’t watch

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@RetiredPacifist Like 1 second?

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@Beaveinflow @DrkDrtyStories Did you get a slurpee afterwards?

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

When I was a kid, you could throw your peanut shells on the floor at Texas Roadhouse, and you could piss on the floor at Burger King.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

Finished my blueberries and I’m ready to fuck.

[Idiot @idiotcoolperson]

Cool scooter. Can it fit in your ass?

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@cynicallycute Are those cayennes or another chili? Cayennes are my favorite to grow. So versatile.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@_ladygooch @IfindRetards Accurate af

[BEAVE @Beaveinflow]

Making married men keep their rings on while fingering me so I can steal them with my vagina.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

More people should be apologizing for how their face looks.

[Tally McLongpants @tall_guy_stuff]

@thegatortaterrr It does if you throw the hot coffee in their face. Then they go away.