Evan

howdy

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

And its so good it doesnt even matter

[Clay @clay2thousand]

Bro this is pronounced juicy penis

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

When you crack the girl whose ig you've been wacking to for years and you can finally kys

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

@FanSince09 @liannanannerss No one tells you the goy brick is actually good

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Obsession happy ending

[(SUSPENDED AGAIN😭) @nilleeez]

ex bf’s best friend admitted he liked me the entire time

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

@s0me0neimet Step one while opening - unfreeze the bagel

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

yooooo I walked by this exact line today going to work ayee hope your enjoyed your shipped in bagel

[Daniel Wortel-London @dlondonwortel]

Imagine if they had lines like this in 70s nyc.

Bloodbath

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Standing in line heightmogging the dude next to me I had to open my phone to the text message chain where I quadruple texted with no response just to show we all struggle

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Me

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Tried to use ear plugs at a metal concert took those out 2 songs in sorry hearing dangerous decibel levels just hit more

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

West Side Highway NJ extension

[Abril @abrilzucchi]

this is your sign to get a mini dachshund and take him to the west side highway

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Say "Interior crocodile alligator" out loud and try to not say it again and keep it as a vocal tic forever challenge

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Now that the dust has cleared can we finally agree that PB personality wise has more in common with her performative manipulator male fan base than the Lesbian one

[laur 🛸 SEEING PHOEBE @bridgehers]

straight man from college got phoebe bridgers msg tickets and i didn’t

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Anybody in the Tucson International airport want to fall in love and never see each other again my flight got delayed

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

New Villagerrr - yup

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

@SaddamTransfem Honestly go off queen I agree with this fictional woman

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

I remember this and there really was no Wednesday

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Doc cold opening with a video from the killer holding his lover hostage - pulled in

Title music being a slowed down dark edit of Toxic Britney Spears - pulled out

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Im getting into Bolivian tn if you know what I mean

[Billy 🚜 @tractor_owner]

"into Bolivian" is a misunderstanding of "into oblivion" I've never considered.

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

They heard the lose 3 inches thing and put their best man on it

[FactPost @factpostnews]

The Trump official in charge of hantavirus response is a penile implant specialist who has repeatedly posted videos and images of his patients' procedures online.

He does not believe in vaccines.

[Evan @tallguyatlarge]

Car is kinda in the cross walk and people have to go around - war crime

Bike just fucking runs someone down - look where you are walking goshhhh

[Wario Calzone @brianvan]

“Trad bicycle” aka they’re going after all of them openly now, not just e-bikes

This is the middle of the road, not a pedestrian path. Traffic is flying by constantly. Why was this person there?

In the cars-in-park days she’d have been dead.