ankit tandon

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

Standard reply from @ZeptoNow to email which is never responded. Faced same issue again with sub standard product and money lost
Order #KUJJKMKTR50331
Spoiled curdled milk

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@CryptooIndia @grok list of fiu registered crypto exchange in India?

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@nehanagarr You

[Whale Alert @whale_alert]

🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 1,616 #BTC (136,698,102 USD) transferred from unknown wallet to unknown new wallet

https://t.co/nKxc9OGG4v

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@CYBTRAFFIC @RaviRan39465255 Thank you. It’s important for everyone safety including nearby resident and gig workers.

[Cyberabad Traffic Police @CYBTRAFFIC]

The Concern regarding wrong-side driving by delivery riders between Jains Carlton Creek and Niharika Exotica (Lanco Hills Road) has been informed to the local Traffic officer (Raidurgam Traffic PS) for necessary action.

Strict enforcement and CCTV-based monitoring will be ensured to prevent such violations.

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@ECISLEEPS 600%

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@ManishNifty Crypto full legalization and tax rationalization.. Crypto treasury and department of trading

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@Amockx2022 Rich non paying tax people are hoppy so bjp will win 2029.

[Whale Alert @whale_alert]

🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 100,000,000 #USDT (100,130,000 USD) transferred from #Aave to #HTX

https://t.co/mPHSQ5wlFF

[Whale Alert @whale_alert]

🚨 🚨 2,000,000 #LINK (31,244,919 USD) transferred from #Robinhood to unknown wallet

https://t.co/fR4LBCRVut

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@RavinderKapur2 None

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@dhruvrahtee Pehle apne ko educate kar lo bagode

[Manish Singh @ManishNifty]

Stock markets…

Govt Increased Taxes of STCG and LTCG, after 1 year they realise no significant increase in tax collection from it….
Increased STT and CTT from October…. Volumes have halved today if you compare from September ….

So whoever proposed all this to FM that increase taxes on stock markets should be sacked because not only it didnt increase any revenue but it also dented a flourishing stock market….

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@MahuaMoitra @Swiggy @MahuaMoitra Time to sue them and make sure @Swiggy and @zomato are 100% liable for bad food. They charge more add platform fees add packaging add delivery add whatever fee I want today.
They can claim back from restaurant.
Customer order from them they should be accountable

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@MahuaMoitra @Swiggy Standard reply @Swiggy and @zomatocare are just broker. don’t care wht u order n wht u get
Always have horrible customer exp with them when I don’t get what I ordered in eatable condition.
Since they charge heavily and have platform fee they should b 100% liable for bad food.

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

With such poor marketing and tech from @ZeptoNow I end up ordering from @letsblinkit

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@ZeptoNow what should be done with marketing offers if customers can’t use it. Time to review marketing team work and does your tech support marketing or not.

[ankit tandon @tanankit]

@ManishNifty Chinni waali chai par gst kitna hai aur Bina cheeni waali chai par?
Itna over sweet smile madam FM uspe bhi gst?