Natasha

the beyonder

[Natasha @tangxhi]

@Gabbrielxzn @BOXABL Finally a house I can take anywhere

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

C-PTSD doesn’t just make you afraid of getting hurt again. It convinces you that getting hurt is what you deserve, so you stop noticing when it’s happening.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

ppl with anxiety: “i overthink texts before sending them”

ppl with cptsd: i overthink texts i sent in 2019

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

people: “i don’t do well with conflict”

ppl with cptsd: i left my body during a disagreement about pizza toppings

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

people in therapy: “i’m learning to trust my gut”

ppl with cptsd: my gut and I are not currently on speaking terms

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

"Omg I'm so autistic" but you don't know what it's like to have no friends for 3 years.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

ppl with ptsd talk about getting back to who they were.

ppl with cptsd are still meeting who they might’ve been.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

can’t figure out why I get sleepy after eating a big meal when the whole point of eating was to get more energy. Bro you had one job.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

ppl with ptsd: “i have flashbacks to the event”

ppl with cptsd: i have flashbacks to Tuesday

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

ppl with anxiety: “i overthink texts before sending them”

ppl with cptsd: i overthink texts i sent in 2019

people in therapy: “i’m learning to trust my gut”
ppl with cptsd: my gut and I are not currently on speaking terms

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

therapists: “let’s reconnect you with your authentic self”

ppl with cptsd: my authentic self was never given room to exist, but sure, let’s look for her

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

Someone can be suicidal one night and still show up to work the next day, carrying on with their routine as if nothing happened. That’s how life can be sometimes. But being able to function the next day doesn’t mean last night’s pain wasn’t real.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

Jobs sending emails about suicide prevention while not paying their workers more to sustain their lives is so unserious lmao.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

If I tell you to get me a ginger ale and you bring me back a Schweppes, Ima Schweppe yo ass out my house cuz tf is that?

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

Validating a child's experience is suicide prevention

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

ppl with anxiety: “it’s exhausting living in fight-or-flight”

ppl with cptsd: wait you guys leave fight-or-flight?

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

I don't know why going to sleep makes me feel so unsafe. But, it might be because that was the time in my childhood when I was left alone to feel the pain from my day and was reminded of how truly alone I was with those feelings.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

funny how someone can take hours to text you back, but the second you're around them in person, their phone suddenly never leaves their hand.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

i'm not demurer ...i have CPTSD
very hypervigilant
very disassociated
very-anxious

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

ppl with ptsd: "it's hard reconciling who i am now with who i was before i experienced trauma"

ppl with cptsd: wait you guys have a before?