tansaku

Programmer, Researcher, Data Scientist, Augmented Reality Comedian

[tansaku @tansakuu]

FREE DRINK OFFER! Follow me on https://t.co/gA3d0ir5iu and attend one of my comedy gigs https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc and I will buy you a drink (T&Cs apply, see website for details)

[tansaku @tansakuu]

My brother’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Like his plan to replace showering with whistling #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

You’ve got an infected wound? No? Oh you said you have a step-sis #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

Feeling refreshed by a load of happy go lucky shirt straightening devices? It’s all the positive irons #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

In social situations my brother turns purple and goes limp. Talk about a wilting violet
#3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

Spontaneous police violence is on the rise. These cops never miss a beat #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I was trying to walk across the Thames the other day, and I thought, this is a lot harder than Jesus makes it look #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I had a hard time getting our winter rock rolling game going, but then it really snowballed #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

The cost of living crisis means I can no longer take money out of ATMs. I think I’m getting withdrawal symptoms #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

My partner is addicted to recycling things from refuse heaps. Total junkie #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

The ultra marathon couple split up. It was inevitable given that it's so challenging to make relationships work long distance #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

The coffee machine told me I was a mess without caffeine. It had no filter #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

Cornered in the freezer, the delicatessen owner fashioned a rudimentary blade out of a leg of pork. He was always remembered for his cold cuts #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I wasn’t sure I could take a conceptual state and hang it by a thread, and then I realised all I had to do was suspend my disbelief #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I think appearances are superficial. You can tell by the way I dress #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I love doing comedy in VR, because even in real life, people only virtually laugh at my jokes #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz7xcK

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I was on a panel the other day. I’d finally worked out a formula for really effective spiderman webbing #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

He used to be so calm and sensible in his petitioning to keep his allotment space, but now he’s totally lost the plot #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

I’ve developed a new skin flaying torture device. Just don’t hold it against me #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

There’s a new quick turnaround valet service for ladies shoes. Apparently they’ll show you a clean pair of heels #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc

[tansaku @tansakuu]

My new year’s resolution is gradually going downhill as my eyesight fades #3jokesadaykeepsthedoctoraway https://t.co/Hb4Qfz6Znc