Tara.

🇬🇺

[Tara. @taranelson]

@MentosUS @TheRock @steveaustinBSR the collaboration we didn’t know we needed but now we really need it. Please make this happen @MentosUS

[Tara. @taranelson]

@CTVCalgary I really don’t have your headlines and more. Over the years I’ve noticed being tagged in your posts as though I work for you. I mean, if you’d like me to be your American correspondent, I could use a side gig. I am very witty and fun.

[Tara. @taranelson]

I had bone broth for lunch today like Gwyneth Paltrow except it was regular nachos.

[Tara. @taranelson]

Don’t forget to be an ass today. You never know who’s having a great day that doesn’t deserve it.

[Tara. @taranelson]

Sometimes you’re a windshield and sometimes you’re a bug. Today I’m the bug.

[Tara. @taranelson]

@OKWildlifeDept Are you sure? Because I feel like you’re trying to steal my joy. In these unprecedented times, choose joy.

[Tara. @taranelson]

I learned you can sue someone for “loss of enjoyment of life” and believe me I have a fucking LIST….

[Tara. @taranelson]

@xMOTHMANx all this time and I am still scared of you.

[Tara. @taranelson]

At what age are you supposed to start ending phone conversations with, “Bye, now?”

[Tara. @taranelson]

Do people who run marathons know that they don’t have to?

[Tara. @taranelson]

It’s so weird seeing a coworker in public places outside of work.

“Oh wow, you go grocery shopping, too?!”

“Omg that’s crazy, you ALSO go to the doctor?!”

[EC Streets @CityofECStreets]

Crews are out trying to plow residential streets but when parking looks like this, crews can’t do their job and the street will NOT be plowed until vehicles clear. We will do our part but you need to do yours. ALTERNATE SIDE PARKING IS IN EFFECT!

[Tara. @taranelson]

@VancityReynolds he’s the hero we all need but do not deserve

[Tara. @taranelson]

@facebook is down. Quick! Everyone get a life while you still can!

[Tara. @taranelson]

Oh #Oregon

[Tara. @taranelson]

@xnulz My grandma, who was taken prisoner by the Japanese during the WW2 occupation of Guam. At 7 years old she lived in a concentration camp while forced to endure hard labor and witnessed her father murdered by enemy soldiers just before the island was liberated by The United States.

[Tara. @taranelson]

The Cleveland Browns visited an orphanage in Brazil over the Thanksgiving weekend. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jose, age 6.

[The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster]

We're watching Titanic and the boobs part starts in like 15 minutes if you guys wanna get down here.

[Tara. @taranelson]

Subtly Tries to Regulate Breathing Rate So No One Knows I Got Winded Walking Up the Stairs: A Novel by Me

[Tara. @taranelson]

Pinterest says if you put tape on the floor in a shape your cat will sit in it.