Jessica

(she/her)

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

… I now have a fiancé

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

After almost 7 years, I no longer have a boyfriend!

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

As of today I have officially graduated from archer to mounted archer. And my horse has now added a new discipline to her horse resume 🏹🐴 yeehaw pals 🤠

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

Me: I should really start working out so I can stay in shape!

Also me:
• works at a greenhouse where 90% of job is manual labor
• Rides horse for ~45 minutes every day
• Spends at at least an hour shooting archery after riding every day
• Essentially never NOT working out

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

#NewProfilePic I decided to come back to this weird section of the internet again

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

@YaBoiMoody Someone needs to take your phone away

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

Me to myself every time I finish reading a book:

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

There are random thoughts I always think about and one of those is how a girl I once knew told me she found it admirable that I didn’t care what others thought when I picked out what to wear each day and? I wore generic cross country TShirts and jeans?
I still don’t understand

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

Another of my favorite things at work is when customers mix up ‘species’ with ‘brand’…

“I know this plant is a Pothos, but what brand is this one?” *points to a second plant*

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

One of my favorite things at work is when I have to explain to people that tropical house plants live in the wild in tropical climates…….

These plants were not created out of thin air for homes and homes only

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

I’ve been cheering on all my plants asking them to produce variegation for me and my mini monstera listened.
Only a little bit of variegation but hey, three cheers for effort

Let’s see if the next leaf is variegated too…

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

@MisterSillyHead I love bugs and that wouldn’t have been my response either 😂

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

I love how most of the responses to this NPR tweet is about how spiders do not deserve death 🥰 🕷

[NPR @NPR]

An Amazon delivery driver became TikTok famous after a video of him killing a spider for a customer went viral. Now, the Texas woman who posted it is trying to find him to say, "thanks."
https://t.co/LQcKx8cYwI

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

Go team ‘Chop the top leaves and nodes off your plants so they branch instead of growing to an awkwardly tall stick’!!! Go team!

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

So I was looking up my business name so I’d know if I could actually trademark it and somehow I ended up finding pictures of Cooper on Pinterest that someone posted??? Why are people posting pictures of my son on Pinterest????

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

I can never decide what to do in the mornings of my days off because I very well know whatever I pick at 8am is what I’m going to be doing until midnight.

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

Ever since I panicked and said “iced caramel frappe” at McDonald’s, every time I go there I tell myself “just say caramel frappe, saying iced is unneeded” and guess what. I always fucking say ICED CARAMEL FRAPPE now and I probably sound like an idiot every time

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

@alisyaaa23 It’s important to pick the right toy when you only have a dollar though... you were just being responsible 😂 Gotta weigh your options properly

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

Welcome to todays game of: am I tan or am I just dirty.

🪴 Today I was just dirty 🪴

Catch us next time to see if I am tan or covered in potting soil.

[Jessica @tarantula_toes]

No. I didn’t just heat up the oven, take the food out of the freezer, put it on the pan, start the timer and forget to put the food IN the oven. I would never do that. Stop looking at me like that