Natashia Mower

SLC comedian. Soft and sharp.

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

"people who quote themselves are murderers"-me

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Wow, can't believe you'd waste food like this

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Godzilla sculpture from a single grain of rice

📹 Rish Art

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Belinda is just the name Linda with be in front of it

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

@Bemopolis I don't wanna hear it! And your dog pooped but you're not paying attention cause you're going off about how ppl say Kamala and now another dog is eating the poop

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Don't talk about politics at the dog park

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Deconstruction Worker: "hey dipshit, are you dippin' shits or shittin' dips, cause we don't pay you to do either!"

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

My financial situation is looking up (the dryer at my apartment works even if you don't pay)

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Helped a customer named Cassandra Bullock

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

If I could give this health inspector lady a score she would get the best one for her control over her own facial expressions cause I straight up shrugged when she asked about food handlers permits.

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

@ewgrossrebecca @NickSmithComedy In the spirit of forgiveness, I'll drink it for you

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

@ewgrossrebecca @NickSmithComedy Drink a Pepsi right now to say sorry

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Shaved my armpits and then weighed myself

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Please don't tell me about what you dream at night. I'm sorry but I never know what to say because nothing happened. It didn't happen.

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Dog paws don't smell like fritos, fritos smell like dog paws.

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

The ppl on my street are insane. Just because a cat is wandering around doesn't mean it's abandoned and you get to start a reddit thread about how caring and compassionate you are. I'm going to start chucking cans of fancy feast at these narcissist ass hippies.

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

@elonmusk I've never turned off my Twitter notifications before. Please shut the fuck up nobody likes you

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Gonna super glue my hand to the picture of Guy Fieri at work in protest of being the only one who bleaches the drains

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

@depressionista_ *removes arms and mails them to you for hug*
I love you and miss you and hope you're doing the best

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Whenever a customer has a baby with them, I pat the tip jar and say "I bet that baby would fit in here" and they laugh and laugh and laugh and I wanna know what makes them think I'm joking.

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

Casey Anthony's life is probably better than yours

[Natashia Mower @tashiamo]

A pinky promise isn't more meaningful, it's just fancier.