tatum

they/she

[warm human @w000rm]

spring:
depressed in a hopeful way

summer:
depressed in a manic way

fall:
depressed in a nostalgic way

winter:
depressed in a depressed way

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

me rising from my edible coma to ask the flight attendant for a ginger ale in a clear, considerate voice that conveys gratefulness and respect

[tatum @tatumshea]

soooooo ready for fireworks to be a thing of the past 🙄

[tatum @tatumshea]

help 🆘 I’m only back on Twitter for all this drama

[Frank Ocean Daily @TeamFrankDaily]

the fans deserved a genuine show from him. what they got was abysmal and (i’ll say it) pretty disrespectful. people paid a lot of money and what they got was a lip syncing, chaotic mess. listen to the folks who were actually there.

[tatum @tatumshea]

i cant stress enough how frustrating the movie “the mist” is. i’m two edibles in SCREAMING at the tv.

[tatum @tatumshea]

dear Trader Joe’s,
i am BEGGING for more than two kinds of coffee creamer. step tf up.

[tatum @tatumshea]

i simply refuse to look at my credit card statement until mid Jan 2023 — no further questions.

[Read Jackson Rising @JPHilllllll]

Wow. Didn’t know Bo Burnham was a real one. Couldn’t be more relevant

[tatum @tatumshea]

operator: "you want to be on file as nonbinary, yes?"

me: "yes please, nonbinary."

operator: "thank you, ma'am. and miss, is there anything else...?"

me: 🫥

[tatum @tatumshea]

🥲💀

[The Try Guys / 2nd try @tryguys]

We’re fine, why do you ask?

[tatum @tatumshea]

i took this to be like “yay samples back @ Trader Joe’s!”, but instead i just got this creepy dude looking at cheese…

[tatum @tatumshea]

not “About You” being a continuation of “Robbers” 🥹🫶🏻
#BeingFunnyInAForeignLanguage

[tatum @tatumshea]

“Oh Caroline” feels like a classic Phil Collins come-together song from the 90s :’-) #BeingFunnyInAForeignLanguage

[Kylie Brakeman @deadeyebrakeman]

How soon before BeReal is used as an alibi in a court of law

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

A massage is not enough I want to be pulled apart like laffy taffy

[tatum @tatumshea]

there’s a special place in hell for people who sell SHEIN clothes on poshmark for 3x what it’s worth

[tatum @tatumshea]

i’d like to put on my license plate “in god we doubt”