taurusbeef

republic’s a banana

[Air @ayoair]

and if you see me celebrating Fourth of July it’s bc I like burgers not bc I support this government

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

If we are ever playing chess together and you take my horse you are dead to me. I like him

[blaire @pissshit90001]

Went to the dentist today they said I grind in my sleep #😴🤑💰

[taurusbeef @taurusbeef]

Camping with a gay man and he keeps saying wig in the woods

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

i was put on earth to go out to dinner

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Don’t invite me over if you don’t want to talk about the High of your day the Low of your day and One thing you are looking forward to

[kathy @no1gladionfan]

we don’t talk about how hard it is to choose a favorite animal. there are so many good animals. i have to consider their merits

[Rory Cooper @rorycooper]

Nothing says welcome home like the Dulles People Mover

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

How about a church like building but people go there once a week to learn about a new type of animal or something

[VELMORAS 🔮📖 『OFFKAI』 @VELMORAS]

still remember this one time where a client used the phonetic alphabet to spell out their email.

i never learnt the phonetic alphabet when i was younger, so i literally said “so just to double check, your email is papa alpha—“

my colleague next to me was in shambles.

[ani | nena de joe @hairydjo]

give djo a tiny desk concert immediately

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS, I LOVE UNITY, I LOVE PEOPLE COMING TOGETHER TO CELEBRATE HUMANITY, I LOVE CELEBRATING OUR DIFFERENCES AS A WAY TO ACKNOWLEDGE OUR SIMILARITIES, REPRESENTING YOUR COUNTRY AND LEARNING ABOUT OTHERS IS BEAUTIFUL AND IT BRINGS A TEAR TO MY EYE THIS ROCKS

[A🏹 @seattleiminyou]

I love tinned fish. I feel like a little cat

[hera @shiningdaisies]

i would love to unclench my jaw one day

[Thee Aries @GiftedAsia]

Every time I taste sushi I wanna backflip off a table and land in a dougie

[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝔉𝔬𝔬 @we1tgeist]

Everyone wanna be Chinese or Mexican. The future belongs to Latinos who look Asian and Asians who look Latino

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

the only flag i salute

[tara @proletarat]

I’ve successfully reduced Phone time by looking at Computer more