Taylor McCown

[Taylor McCown @taylorbmccown]

@aquafiona_ For the Pizza rolls I’m going to go with double quik in coal run

[Taylor McCown @taylorbmccown]

💔

[Jeopardy! @Jeopardy]

Jeopardy! is saddened to share that Alex Trebek passed away peacefully at home early this morning, surrounded by family and friends. Thank you, Alex.

[Taylor McCown @taylorbmccown]

No matter who you voted for this is a win 💕💕💕

[Taylor McCown @taylorbmccown]

I feel like we could have just asked Matt Groening who was going to win the election and saved ourselves days of anxiety.

[Kat Timpf @KatTimpf]

Politics makes people who actually know each other fight over their opinions about people that they don’t actually know

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

You're totally allowed to think something and not tweet it

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

How come murder shows always manage to make me fall in love with the murderer

[chloe iris @chloeikennedy]

oh to be a tiny lizard licking an orange.

[j.d. durkin @jd_durkin]

the world’s an awful place but also have you seen this video of a tiny deer meeting a tiny human

[Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia]

A dad and son are here at the airport waiting to go to LA.

They have a bag w muffins. Kid says “Can I have one of these?”

Dad says “You’re on vacation buddy you can have anything anytime.”

They both take bites. Dad says “Wow. Mom did a good job.”

The son says “Yeah.”

😭😭😭

[Taylor McCown @taylorbmccown]

You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a cat purr through a stethoscope #myheart

[elf bar lover 4 ever @aquafiona_]

I miss Rachel already

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

Imagine being such an asshole that you’d rather look at another human instead of the elephant two feet away @yashar

[Clays & Birds @ClaysandBirds]

Every year as we move away from the events of 9/11, I find the images of the towers falling don’t impact the way they use to. I now try to focus on individual stories from that day to help remind me of the emotions I felt. This year I want to focus on the dogs of 9/11

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

Your gender reveal party reveals more about you than your baby

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

Being an adult is cool if you love spending all day trying to figure out where that sound in your house is coming from

[Miley Cyrus @MileyCyrus]

She can be wearing what she wants. She can be a virgin. She can be sleeping with 5 different people.

She can be with her husband. She can be with her girlfriend. She can be naked.

She CAN’T be grabbed without her consent. #DontFuckWithMyFreedom

[zane @zane]

The Night King and Queen Daenerys living their best life in hell

[Taylor McCown @taylorbmccown]

21 Very Honest Questions I Have After Watching "Game Of Thrones" Season 8, Episode 3 https://t.co/clmMptkjTc