Taylor East

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

What is it with dads and shredding everything? I could get a dominos flyer through the door and he’ll shred it in fear of my identity getting stolen

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

I’ve just reheated my coffee in the microwave for the first time. Stick a zimmer frame up my ass and call me Edna I’m going in a care home

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

The middle core bit of a Terry’s chocolate orange is the best bit, no?

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

crikey don’t worry about wasting money on a pair of scales just pop round and see your nan she’ll tell you you’re getting fatter for free 🙄

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

Shouting ‘All Lives Matter’ is like going to a Breat Cancer event and protesting all cancers matter. Like yeah we fucking know but that’s not what we’re talking about 😴✊🏼 embarrassing

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

Just waiting here patiently for the mum bod to be fashionable

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

Sunday bloody evenings 🙄

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

People who prefer the winter are delusional ☀️

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

going to bed hungry is the worst like I’m never gonna survive the night

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

this time last year I was on a beach in western australia and now I’m in bed with a giant bowl of cornflakes and I’ll be honest I dunno when I was happier

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

World book day is the ONLY day I don’t mind seeing 4000 photos of your ratchet kids

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

either I’m still drunk or this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

nan phoning me wishing me a happy birthday. Only 6 months early pal x

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

sorry is it January 74th? 😴

[Taylor East @tayloreast95]

new year, new failed diet. can’t wait already