tay

☠️😈👽👻 but I’m only a man & I do what I can

[tay @taylormtt31]

“the problem is, I want to be an Olympian AND perform in a Broadway musical AND be a cardiac surgeon, with a thriving social life and time to travel the world,” I say to my bowl of chickpeas

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

REPUBLICANS: who can be sure about what happened 36 years ago

ALSO REPUBLICANS: when the founding fathers put a comma in this sentence they meant we can have assault rifles

[tay @taylormtt31]

I’m sitting next to @RealChalamet ‘s doppelgänger on the metro in Paris #jsyk

[tay @taylormtt31]

today I spent 3 hrs on trains to and from Paris #blessed #suburblife

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

technically the human body is a ravioli

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

everybody wanting to get married and I just want to be the village witch who cooks mountains of spaghetti in a cauldron and accidentally floods the town with spaghetti.

[Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov]

the perfect date:

-romantic music
-a delicious meal
-a moonlit walk on the beach
-soft lighting
-the declaration of independence
-flipping it over to find a secret map
-it's treasure time, baby
-candles

[tay @taylormtt31]

Superposition by @youngthegiant is the only thing getting me through this 5-going-on-6 hr long anxiety attack #blessed

[tay @taylormtt31]

that will be all

[tay @taylormtt31]

@genebean14 @UMichTrack @bigten It’s like a sorority squat/ manspreading combo

[GL @gldivittorio]

If you can’t handle me at my Elon Musk randomly manufacturing flame throwers you don’t deserve me at my Elon Musk maybe fixing the Flint water crisis

[GL @gldivittorio]

“Who cares what other people think?”

Okay, me, my family, employers, brands, modern political thought, notable sociologists, art and literature, Emperors historically, maybe dogs, probably God if we’re being honest with ourselves, Elon Musk

[GL @gldivittorio]

An exciting aspect of white culture is changing positions on if Coldplay is good or not every two years

[Nick Pangakis @nick_pangakis]

Being a fish that’s caught and thrown back in the water has got to be an awful experience. Not only were you so bad at being a fish that you got caught, but you also weren’t even impressive enough to be kept. Big shot to the ego.

[GL @gldivittorio]

Kindergarten class: April showers bring May flowers but what do Mayflowers bring?

Me: (loudly from the back) Genocide

[tay @taylormtt31]

@rockinbinbin only the real can relate ✋🏻

[tay @taylormtt31]

I think I just want to be Natalie Portman

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

[early Scandinavian immigrants]

Olaf: We should settle somewhere that reminds us of home: mountains and ocean, waterfalls and glaciers, beauty unma-

Sven: *nodding* Wisconsin